This is something that I've kind of always known about myself, but I tend to forget at times. I'm the type of person that likes to be told what to do and I enjoy following the directions in Ikea packages. I don't do well with the undefined. Asking me to come up with a "vision" for something is enough to make me hurl because I don't do well with thinking of things outside of my little world. I'm completely comfortable getting outside of my world as long as someone tells me how to get there.
Rules, schedules, order, directions, routines....they are all things that I find to be completely necessary in my life. I am far more disciplined when I have these things in place. That is why this journey is particularly difficult for me at times.
I desperately want someone to just tell me, eat this, this and that and do this and you will loose all of the weight that you want. Yes, it is as easy a making sure you burn more calories than you consume, but the options for consuming and burning are endless. It leaves too much wiggle room for me. I need more structure.
I lasted one week off of a training schedule after my 10K before I realized that I needed to do something new that would keep me in a routine with set times and miles. I was excited about just being able to do whatever I wanted, but I quickly realized that didn't work for me. I decided to re-start the Couch to 5K Program with my own slight modifications. This time, during the walking intervals, I'm running at my normal, super slow pace (13:00/13:30 minute miles) and during the running intervals, I'm kicking it up to 10:00 minute miles (6 mph). I finished Week 2 Day 1 on Monday and it is going much easier than I thought it would be. When I started last time around back in March, I flew off the treadmill when I tried to do 6 mph, so I'll call it progress.
Then of course, we have the endless choices for calories going in.....choices which I've been struggling significantly with over the last three weeks. I just can't seem to get back on track, I start the day off really well, but then I always get derailed some time after lunch. I need to reset.
James has been wanting to do The Daniel Fast for quite a while. I kept making all kinds of excuses for why it wasn't the right time, but now, I've finally given in. I'll write a longer, more detailed blog about the Daniel Fast soon, but for those of you who aren't familiar with it, it is a fast based out of Daniel Chapter 10. He ate only "plain and simple" foods during a 3 week time of prayer and fasting.
There are many iterations of the fast, but the main focus is to eat only fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts & seeds and legumes. No meat, dairy, preservatives, sugar, processed foods, etc.....which makes preparation an essential part of this fast. We have done the fast before, in January of 2008, which just happens to be when I got pregnant with our first kiddo.
We technically started the fast today, but since I hadn't planned/prepared well enough, I'm considering tomorrow my actual start day. We're not being completely legalistic and are allowing some wiggle room since we've still got three kiddos to feed, but for the most part, we are following the plan.
I am hoping that three weeks of cutting out the things that are easily accessible and convenient for me to fill my mouth with, will help me get back on track.
I need to get on track not only with eating and exercise, but also in my daily time with God. Sine I am so into routines, I'm also very into lists. Reading my Bible at the end of the day is on my list of things to do. I've found myself trying to rush through my reading plans so that I can mark it as complete and I'm not taking the time to actually absorb the words. I decided to cut back on the amount of reading that I do each day so that I actually take more time to focus on the little portions that I am reading. I need to constantly remind myself that I'm not reading it to cross it off, but because I want to know and understand God on another level.
I hope to be back in a few days with a good report! Hope you are all enjoying October, it is flying by! We've already been enjoying some Halloween festivities.
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