He will never fail us

The Daniel Fast continues, except I don't really think I'm going to call it a fast anymore.  I don't feel like I'm fasting, I feel like we've just modified our eating to be like the allowed foods on the Daniel Fast.  On Sunday, I decided I was going to take a half day break from the fast because my dad was coming for a visit and I was making lunch for more than just my kiddos.  I made spaghetti with meat sauce and garlic bread.  I feel like it is rude to prepare something for other people and then not eat it myself, so I joined them.  Later on Sunday, we went to a Halloween deal at my mom's church and we got the kiddos some food.  They didn't eat much and I hadn't eaten yet and I feel awful wasting food, so I ate half of a hamburger and some coleslaw. 

a sad little bear

spidey rocking the bean bag toss

I was back on track yesterday though and have been doing well today.  I'm actually quite pleased with the amount of control I've exercised the past few days.  My mom sent banana bars and banana bread home with us and I haven't touched them.  Her banana bars are pretty much my favorite treat and I usually can't stop myself once I've had one.  I have also stayed far away from Halloween candy.  I don't think I've ever made it to October 30th without completely gorging myself on Halloween candy before.

I know I've mentioned this many times before, but I'm really trying to focus on becoming more prayerful lately.  When I pray, I try to use the P.R.A.Y. method to help keep me focused. 

Praise - Worship and Adoration for God

Repent - Confessing all of the yucky stuff I've done and in my heart

Ask - Specific requests for areas you need God to show up

Yield - Acknowledging that even though this is what you want, God is in control and you are ok with that...basically saying "not my will, but yours"

I found myself feeling like I was being disingenuous during the praise portion of my prayer the other day and it has bothered me since then.  It obviously reveals some things about where my heart is at right now and I am struggling with it.  I know and trust that God is sovereign, mighty, powerful, merciful, awesome, etc.  As as I was proclaiming these words, I had to stop and ask myself if I actually felt that way.  To be completely honest, I had to answer no.  Even though I know that God is all of these things and in my heart I believe them, I have a really hard time feeling it.  I kind of felt that if I haven't truly experienced and felt these attributes of God, then I shouldn't be saying them.

I spent a long time talking with Him to help me be aware of these things so that I can genuinely proclaim them and fully feel them in my heart.  I asked him to help me identify what is going on in my heart that is preventing me from feeling these things.  I'm still waiting to fully figure that out, but I did find a very specific way to pray, the exact same way that Moses prayed in Exodus 33:18 - Moses said, "Please, show me your glory." 

I am faithfully praying that God will show me His glory.  This requires me to be more aware of what He is doing in my life and not taking credit for it myself.  As someone who is by nature an achiever, it is so easy for me to take credit for things but when I stop and look back, it is so plain to see that God had his hand in it.

We sang the song "God is Able" by Hillsong on Sunday morning at church.  We've sung it many times before and I really love it, but this time as I was watching the lyrics on the screen and singing along, I completely broke down

God is for us
He has open arms
He will never fail us
He will never fail us

I just stood there and cried and prayed for the remainder of the song because I couldn't form any words through my quivering lips.  I fully know, feel and believe with all of my heart that God will never fail us because He has never failed me.  He is answering me and showing me His glory.  He is unfailing and I can proudly pray that, so we're off to a start. 

Now I'm off to bake a birthday cake for my little girl.  She turns four years old tomorrow and I can hardly believe it.  Four years ago today I was just starting to go into labor, so excited to be a mom for the very first time.  It is amazing how much can change in four years, and I am loving it!