New Years Eve 2012

Well, the end of 2012 is upon us and 2013 is right around the corner.  2012 has been a good year for me, but I'm looking forward to working on goals in 2013 (more to come on that).

I wanted to do a quick post on the eve of the Polar Dash 5K.  It will be an interesting race given the estimated temperature for tomorrow

Race time is 11:13 for the 5K, so it will be brisk, but better than the 10K and Half Marathon folks get.

I started running with music again so decided to make a playlist specifically for the race

1) Good Morning - Mandisa & Toby Mac
2) Keep Your Eyes Open - needtobreathe
3) Dark Horses - John Foreman
4) It's Time - Imagine Dragons
5) Fire Fire - Flyleaf
6) You Won't Know - Brand New
7) You Know Me - Bethel Music Loft Sessions
8) The Arms of Sorrow - Killswitch Engage
9) Forever Reign - Passion
10) How He Loves - David Crowder Band

I still have a goal of finishing in under 37 minutes or 12:00 minute miles, but if it doesn't happen, I'm not going to be too heartbroken since running a 5K on the 1st of January in Minnesota is a pretty good start to the year.  If you would have asked me January 1st 2012 what I'd be doing a year from then, I definitely wouldn't have said running a 5K.

I'll be back with a race recap tomorrow!  Wish me luck and pray for warmth!

  

Made to Crave

I've been promising a review of the book Made toCrave by Lysa TerKeurst for quite some time and I'm finally going to follow through on it today!

When I set out on this journey to start living a healthier life, I knew that I needed to first change my heart and turn to God in the times when I was instead turning to food.  Little did I know that there was already a book all about this!  As the extended title says, Made to Crave is a book about Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food.

I was really excited when I found out about the book because I had read some of Lysa's blogs on the Proverbs 31 website and enjoyed her sense of humor and candor.  Candor is probably the most admirable quality that I find in other people, so I am always excited to find another woman who loves Jesus who isn't afraid to expose their inner dialogue…this is very much Lysa.

The book is formatted to be done in a Bible study/small group format with reflection questions at the end of each chapter, but I just read it by myself.  I think it would be VERY helpful to do with a group of ladies because the challenge questions at the end of each chapter are really great. 

I think this book is one that I will keep around and read through when I start to forget who I am and why I'm doing what I'm doing.  It was a very quick read and will be easy to go back to, even if it is just a chapter here and a chapter there.  I am very aware that changing my thinking isn't going to happen overnight, I spent 30 years using food as my "go-to" for every emotion when instead I should be turning to God, so keeping this book around will be helpful to get me back there when I forget.

Another part of the book that I really like is that Lysa put all of the verses that she references in the book in one nice little section at the back of the book.  As I was reading through the chapters, when I came across a verse I liked, I would look it up in YouVersion and bookmark it so that I could have it at my fingertips in a moment of weakness, but I didn't highlight them in my actual Bible, so it was nice to have them all at the end to go back and do that.

What I like most about this book is that it isn't an "eat this, do that and then life will be grand" kind of book.  Lysa does talk about her no-sugar eating plan, but is very clear that what she did may not work for everyone.  She restricted certain foods completely from her diet and I know that things like that don't work for me and aren't going to solve my problem because I don't necessarily crave certain foods, I just want lots of it!  So for me, watching my calories and paying attention to the calorie content of the food I am eating is much more important. 

If you struggle with food, I HIGHLY recommend reading this book because it helps you understand why you do what you do and helps you learn how to change your behaviors with solid Biblical truths.  I know some people have a hard time with the word "sin", but it is a reality and this book was very helpful in helping me realize when eating becomes more than nourishing my body and instead sinful behavior.   

Top 10 Favorite Quotes from the Book

• "…what we're craving will always depend on what-ever we're consuming … the object of our desire or God and His truth." (Pg 24)

• "God never intended for us to want anything more than we want Him." (Pg 29)

• "Food had become like a drug.  And honestly, it's a good drug choice for a Christian woman.  Every church event I attended readily provided my drug out in the open with no hesitation or judgement." (Pg 37)
• I am pretty sure I shouted,  "Amen!" after I read that.  This is why it is soooo difficult to overcome this battle.  Normally, when you are trying to overcome a problem, you abstain from it, but food is EVERYWHERE!!!  No one thinks twice about offering food to you and often times, well meaning people will provide me with an rationale to enjoy something delicious that I don't really need.  "Oh, just this once won't hurt."  "You have to be bad sometimes."  "You deserve it." …we would never say these kinds of things to someone trying to overcome an alcohol or drug addiction, but I feel like there is always pressure to try food.

• "Being ruled by something other than God diminishes our commitment and will make us feel increasingly distant from Him." (Pg 66)

• "The more I made running about spiritual growth and discipline, the less I focused on the weight.  Each lost pound was not a quest to get skinny but evidence of obedience to God." (Pg 89)
• ….quoted the girl who just went for a run in 20 degree weather (Please pray for unseasonably warm weather on January 1st!!!!)

• "Our flesh buys right into Satan's lie that it's not fair for things to be withheld from us.  So we bite into the forbidden fruit and allow Satan to write "shame" across our heart."  (Pg 100)
• So glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.  This pretty much explains my "Hangry" post

• "If my happy was missing when I was larger, it will still be missing when I get smaller." (Pg 120)
• I think this is SO important.  Fitting into a certain size or seeing a certain number on the scale isn't going to provide happiness.  I feel like so many women put their bodies through hell to try and find happiness this way and it is fleeting….makes me sad for them. 

• "So, I'm not on a diet.  I'm on a journey with Jesus to learn the fine art of self-discipline for the purpose of holiness."  (Pg 158)
• Exactly. 

• "Pursuing holiness means God is the only One we should long for; want greatly; desire eagerly.  The only One worthy of worship." (Pg 173)
• And what a good God he is

• "I've tasted the deep satisfaction of God and I know all other things are but cheap imitations.  And I don't want to be enamored by the lesser things wrought with momentary pleasure." (Pg 174)
• I think this is probably the most important thing that I need to remember when I feel like giving in. 

There are SO MANY more great thoughts, ideas and stories in this book, but these are the ones that impacted me the most.  Like I said before, if you struggle at all with food, PLEASE do yourself a huge favor and read this book!!    

What a difference 4 years can make

Well, I promised pictures.  I only have one new picture, I was hoping for more, but I've had a sick little dude for the past couple of days and I'm starting to get the lovely crud that he has so there hasn't been much accomplished the past few days in our home.

This is how I spent my day on Thursday

Here is a picture of me on Thanksgiving 4 years ago with my daughter, Rory.  (Yes, daughter, we bought the outfit before we knew if baby was a boy or girl)

I think I was probably around 370 or something like that, I still had some pregnancy weight at this point, which I don't count in my weight loss totals because it just doesn't seem right. 

Here we are last Sunday on our way out the door to the Disney on Ice show. 

 

 

Getting to the show proved to be an interesting experience, or "adventure" as my husband decided to call it.  We got about 10 inches of snow last weekend and it was still snowing as we headed out.  The roads were HORRIBLE to say the least, but I headed out and made it safely to downtown Minneapolis, where there happened to be a Vikings game getting out at the exact same time.  I texted James from a stoplight and he looked me up on google latitude and quickly gave me a follow up phone call...."Hun, where are you?  The show is at the Xcel (in St. Paul)."  Insert mass hysteria and panic on my end at that point.

 

I didn't look at the stupid tickets.  James purchased them, I printed them out, but never paid any attention to where it was.  It was at the Target center last time, so I just assumed it was there again this time.  So there we were, downtown Minneapolis, supposed to be in downtown St. Paul and it was 4:30 and the show started at 5:00.  Traffic was at a standstill with the unplowed roads and I had a complete breakdown.  I felt so helpless because I was just stuck, we had moved about a car length in 20 minutes.  I finally decided to take some side roads and hope that I could find an alternate entrance to any highway.  We finally made it to the show during the intermission so at least we saw the last half, and Rory didn't really know any different, so we still had a good time.

 

Yesterday I decided to get outside for a run, I had 4 miles on the schedule and the weather was pretty decent so I was looking forward to a little bit of time to myself.  About 3/4 miles into my run my phone rang, it was James and he had locked himself out of the house with our sick son.  So I turned around and headed back home to let them in and then did another short run around our neighborhood.  It felt really good, I like running in the cold weather (thanks, Kelley, for the heads up on the Cuddle Duds, made a WORLD of difference).  My goal for the Polar Dash is to have 12:00 minute miles or less and I was very close yesterday on a nice and easy run, so I'm hopeful that it will happen.  

 

Eating this week was a bit of a challenge for me.  I hate hormones....I will leave it at that.  I need to learn to find a way to keep control even when everything in my body is screaming for more.

 

That is all for now, enjoy the day!   

Darkness vs Light

It is a rainy day here in Minnesota.  It matches my mood pretty perfectly.  I still can't shake the senseless school shooting in Connecticut yesterday.  I've been off since seeing the news story flash across my screen.  I instantly started praying, begging Jesus to come back and end all of this, but then I heard that ever famous still small voice say to me "not yet, there are still so many that need saving."  26 lives lost is extremely tragic, but the number of people out there who either don't know of or refuse to accept God's free gift of grace is far greater. 

I started to think about Matthew 5

 

Salt and Light

13"You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet.  "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.  Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house.16In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."

 

 

We need to be the light so badly right now.  There is so much darkness, darkness at a time when we are looking forward to celebrate the arrival of Jesus, the light of the world.  I feel like we, as "the Church", need to do a better job of being the light, especially in our own communities.  There is so much work to be done in parts of the world where there is extreme poverty, but I've just been feeling a pull to be a light in the community I live in.  I think it is so easy to just go through life being complacent, not looking into the eyes of the people that we pass by, just going about our business.  Behind each of those eyes is a person, a soul, a life that Jesus died for.  I need to start paying more attention. 

 

A friend of my sister's posted something by Max Lucado that I really liked, it spoke to me

 

Dear Jesus,
It's a good thing you were born at night. This world sure seems dark. I have a good eye for silver linings. But they seem dimmer lately.
These killings, Lord. These children, Lord. Innocence violated. Raw evil demonstrated.

The whole world seems on edge. Trigger-happy. Ticked off. We hear threats of chemical weapons and nuclear bombs. Are we one button-push away from annihilation?
Your world seems a bit darker this Christmas. But you were born in the dark, right? You came at night. The shepherds were nightshift workers. The Wise Men followed a star. Your first cries were heard in the shadows. To see your face, Mary and Joseph needed a candle flame. It was dark. Dark with Herod's jealousy. Dark with Roman oppression. Dark with poverty. Dark with violence.
Herod went on a rampage, killing babies. Joseph took you and your mom into Egypt. You were an immigrant before you were a Nazarene.
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Oh, Lord Jesus, you entered the dark world of your day. Won't you enter ours? We are weary of bloodshed. We, like the wise men, are looking for a star. We, like the shepherds, are kneeling at a manger.
This Christmas, we ask you, heal us, help us, be born anew in us.

Hopefully,
Your Children

 

 

It gets harder and harder for me to trust that God will keep my kiddos safe as they go into this world without me.  I want so badly to just keep them inside these four walls where I can prevent the evils of the world from them. 

 

I hope you will join me in being the light.  If you know of any great ways to make an impact in the Minneapolis/St. Paul community, please share them in the comments section.  I am really looking for something that isn't just a quick, one day, flippant involvement, I want something real, something that will connect me with people who I can't forget about the minute I enter back into my own little world.

 

Also, If you live in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area and have thought about going to church but just don't know where to start, consider this your invitation to join my family for Christmas services.  You can e-mail me for details if you are at all interested. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Half Way - 93 Pounds Gone

This week I hit an exciting milestone in my weight loss journey, I have passed the half way mark.  I have a goal of losing 183 pounds and as of this morning, I am down 93 pounds, currently weighing in at 262.0.

October and November were rough months.  I didn't make much progress and was stuck in a rut.  Once I completed the Twin Cities 10K, I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do with myself and to be honest, I thought I'd feel a lot more satisfaction from completing that race than I actually did so I found myself feeling a bit depressed.

I have been reading "Made to Crave" as I have mentioned many times before.  I'm almost through the book and reading it has helped me so much.  I'm going to be dedicating a full post to that once I finish.

I managed to not go completely crazy with eating over Thanksgiving, but still managed to gain about 4 pounds.  I re-gained and lost the same 4 pounds over and over again since then, but I think they are finally gone now. 

I'm hoping to have some new progress pictures up at some point this weekend.  I've been training for the Polar Dash 5K on New Years Day.  I've been doing pretty much all of my training runs on the treadmill and I need to be brave and get outside one of these days so that my lungs get used to running in the cold.  It is just so hard to find a time when it isn't completely dark….I'm not a fan of bats swooping around my head. 

Life has just been busy with Thanksgiving and getting ready for Christmas and all fun activities that that entails.  James and I were standing by our refrigerator looking at something last night and I asked what the date was and he referenced the dry erase weekly family planner that I bought in an attempt to be somewhat organized with our comings and goings as well as meal plans.  It still shows the week of November 11th, my last post was November 17th.  I kind of feel like I've been treading water trying to stay afloat since then. 

So, rather than give you all the details on what I've been up to, here are a few pictures.  

Nickelodeon Universe Birthday Fun!

 Turtley Awesome

Too much excitement...he missed out on some good Fro-Yo

 I replaced the bathtub faucet valve all by myself

First snowfall the day after Thanskgiving 

Visiting some sheep on my Aunt and Uncle's farm 

 AmericInn Slumber Party!

3rd Birthday Party....he wasn't too excited about the picture

Thanks for reading (and for being patient), hopefully I'll be back with another post in less than three weeks.