Virtual 5K

Happy Friday!

I have the day off to get some work done at home while the kiddos are off at school and daycare, a much needed day. 

I like to read the blog RunsforCookies, if you haven't read it before, I recommend checking it out if you like weight loss success stories.  Anyway, today is Katie's 31st birthday, so she decided to have a Virtual 5K (3.1 miles) to celebrate.  A race with no entry fee that I can run whenever I want to??  I'm in.

I had planned on running on the treadmill since it has been so ridiculously cold here, but when I woke up to 15 degrees, I decided to head outside.  I got bundled up and headed to a trail that I ran a lot on this summer but haven't run on in the winter.  It is a state trail, so I figured it would be groomed well, but I figured incorrectly.  It was quite snowy and icy, I almost turned around and headed back home to the treadmill but instead decided to give it a go.  I had a goal of finishing in under 37 minutes, but more so than that, I had a goal to keep running and not take any walk breaks.  With the icy conditions I didn't meet goal 1 (37:46 was my time), but I did meet goal 2 and ran the whole way.  It has been a really long time since I've actually done a 5K without any walk breaks outside, so I was happy about that. 

I quit on myself so many times when I know I have more in me because I just don't think I'm capable of pushing through it. So my goal today was to just keep going because I know I my body is able, my mind just doesn't always agree. It is such a struggle to overcome self doubt in the area of endurance and physical ability for me. For 31 years I've told myself I can't keep going because I'm too out of shape, too tired, too big....I'm done.

Pardon the extreme closeup and lack of makeup

I've been watching The Biggest Loser lately and I think I start crying at some point during every episode because I can completely relate to the feeling of failure and defeat that so many of the contestants deal with.  It is especially difficult for me to hear the three kids discuss their challenges with weight and bullying because I've so been there.  I can completely relate to Sunny and I want her to succeed so badly. 

I am really glad that they are addressing childhood obesity this season and I hope some kiddos are inspired to make healthy changes in their life, but I'm also a little bit concerned for how easy they made it seem for the kids to hop into normal kid activities and be welcomed with open arms.  It is always going to be a challenge for a chubby kid to fit into a team sport environment.  Despite always being overweight, I played volleyball, basketball and softball, but it wasn't without a whole lot of heartache.  Your confidence takes a huge beating when you are ALWAYS the last one finishing the mile run or killers....not to mention getting cut from the JV volleyball team mid-season because you aren't showing any potential (at least I wasn't alone in that one).  Getting active as an overweight kid is hard and often leads to more self defeat and I wish that they would acknowledge that and offer some ways for kids to overcome that. 

I also realized this week that I think I'm eating significantly fewer calories than I should be.  When I lost four pounds quickly during a week where I wasn't exercising, I started to wonder what in the world was going on.  As soon as I started exercising again, the scale went the wrong way and then stopped.  I looked at a couple of nutrition websites and the recommended rapid weight loss calorie goal for me is about 500 more net calories a day than I've been eating (2,000 vs 1,500).  So I'm going to test it out and see what happens. 

Well, I better get busy and make the most of the day!  Thanks for reading and enjoy the weekend!    

Hello 2013

Welcome to 2013!

I started the year off with a 5K in ridiculously cold weather.  Despite the cold, it was a lot of fun.  I did the race with my friend Kelley.  It was her first 5K and she did a great job, I'm so glad we were able to do it together!  The race didn't go as well as I had hoped for today, I came very close to my goal, but didn't quite hit it.

My goal was to be under 37:00, so I was 43 seconds off, but I'm still happy with the results given the cold weather and the fact that I haven't gotten to do much training outside.  Running outside is so much harder on my legs than running on a treadmill and I started too quickly so I ended up taking a few walk breaks.  

I kind of hate seeing the mile marker signs.  I thought we must have been about half way when I saw the 1 mile mark....no good since my legs were already burning.  I just focused on my music and kept pressing on, all in all it was a good day!  Here is our before and after

2013 is off to a good start and I'm very much looking forward to what the rest of the year will bring.  I was doing my daily Bible reading a few days ago and came across these verses from Titus 2: 11-14

11For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, 12training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,13waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, 14who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

As I was reading them I just kind of got this feeling that God was telling me that this is what he wanted me to focus on this year.  So for the first time ever, I have a verse of the year and Titus 2:11-14 is it.  2013 will be a year of getting rid of worldly passions, which is perfect because I've been reading the book "7" by Jen Hatmaker and that book is all about getting rid of our worldly passions.  This year will also be another year focused on improving my self-control and growing closer to God.  That being said, I have a few goals that I'll be working toward

1) Have a consistent Bible reading/prayer time each morning. 

• Right now I usually do my reading at night and I'm usually so tired that I end up falling asleep.  I need to do it at a time where I'm more focused and have more energy and morning tends to be it for me.  I also want to do a better job of starting my day off in prayer and giving my day over to God.

2) Continue to make healthy choices in the food that I eat and the activities that I do by working out 5 times a week and eating less processed food.  

• My Christmas present from James is getting to join a gym.  We can swing the monthly fee, but the joining/registration fee was more than I was ready to pay at any point last year.  I hate joining in January when everyone else is, so I might wait until February.  My main reason for wanting to join a gym is because I want to be able to work more on gaining muscle and moving a pin on a machine is much more manageable for me than moving a bunch of plate weight around on the smith rack at home....I hate plate weight.  

3) More joy

• I've spent far too much time crying, stressed and angry lately.  I need to fix this.  I'm thinking this one will require some external help from a psychologist.  I've definitely got some baggage from my childhood that reared its head last week out of nowhere and I need to work through it.

4) Keep on running

• My tentative plan for 2013 is
• Manitou Days 5K
• Color Run
• Dirty Girl Mud Run
• Twin Cities 10 Mile
• Monster Dash Half Marathon
• The last two are big, lofty and pretty much ridiculous given my current size and pace, but I think I'm up for the challenge.  The Monster Dash has 12:30/mile pacers, so we shall see!  I like races because they give me something to work towards, which I need, but I hate all the stupid entrance fees.  

That pretty much sums it up.  I know goals are supposed to be measurable and mine aren't necessarily anything that can be measured, but they are what they are and I'll make the best out of them.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful 2013!

Saaaattttuuuurrrrrrdaaaaaaaay

You'll have to excuse the title of this post, it was the first thing that came to my head and it is from an old Fallout Boy song by the same name.   

I thought I'd do a quick update on where my head/body is at right now.

As my last couple of blogs have indicated, I have been lacking in the motivation department lately.  I've gained back 3 pounds, but I'm hoping they will come back off quickly.  So I'm sitting at 269 right now after being at 266 and I'm not very happy with it, but it is what it is. 

I haven't been eating like crazy, but I haven't been tracking calories either.  I think I just hit a wall and I'm trying very hard to get over it.

I started reading Made to Crave last night and I'm hoping that it will help me get back on track.  I need to find my "want to" as Lysa puts it.  I know what it is deep down, but sometimes I loose focus. 

I started Week 5 of the Couch to 5K on Monday with the walking portions at 5mph and the running at 6mph.  I was about 7 minutes in and my hips decided they were done.  It is Saturday and they still hurt.  I'm hoping to get back on the treadmill tomorrow and slow it down a bit. 

I just signed up for the Polar Dash 5K.  It is on New Years Day and I'm running it with one of my good friends, so I think it will be a lot of fun.  I'm praying that it isn't ridiculously cold that day. 

I was talking to James last night and I am contemplating setting a BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal), an idea Jim Collins came up with.  The 10K was a BHAG for me this year, and I did that.  My BHAG for 2013, is to run the Monster Dash Half Marathon.  It is a GINORMOUS goal, but I need to have those to keep me motivated.  I also need to publicly profess them, even if it leaves some of you saying, "yeah, that isn't going to happen".  I like big hairy audacious goals because it pushes me to grow.

I think part of the reason why I've struggled the past month or so is because I lost focus of what the main goal was here.  My main goal was to get healthy, transform my life and do it with God's help so that he could be glorified.  I haven't been partnering with Him very well in this area of my life, so it is time to get back there. 

I read something yesterday that I really enjoyed by John Piper.  I shared it with the group of volunteers that I "coach" at church and I wanted to share it with you as well.  So here it is.  (If you use You Version, his comments are from the 15 Days Days in the Word with John Piper reading plan.)

As I've been reading through the Bible lately, I've been trying to pay very close attention to how Christ wants us to interact with our neighbors. Perhaps it is because my main spiritual gift is mercy, but I've been feeling God stirring in my heart lately to make His love known to all people. I think there are so many people hurting that desperately need God, but you would never know it. So many "ones" that we can be praying for.

As I've been reading, I keep coming back to the verses that refer to the body of Christ as salt and light. I've been doing a You Version study by John Piper and he just happened to reference many of these verses today. Mark 9:50 was particularly notable for me ; "Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its saltiness, how will you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another."

Piper goes on to suggest what he believes it means to be the salt and the light and I really enjoyed what he said: "to be the salt of the earth and the light of the world means that at root Christians are so profoundly satisfied by Christ as our eternal reward, we are freed from fear and greed for the sacrifices of love, and are able to rejoice at persecution. When the world sees this, they see the glory of Christ and taste the satisfying pleasure of who he is."

I want so desperately for others to see this in me. I have a lot of work to do, but I am thankful that we worship a God who offers us grace upon grace and keeps giving us opportunities to get it right. I pray that Christ is always enough to keep me satisfied.

So that is that.  Have a great Saturday.  Thanks for reading even though I get "stuck" sometimes.