As most of you probably know, I am currently training for my first Sprint Triathlon. I have been really diligent at sticking to my training and getting all of my workouts in. If races were only about heart and determination, I might have a shot at winning something someday. However, they are about so much more and despite loads of training, I'm still incredibly slow and will likely finish last, but I'm ok with that.
To this point, I've been doing all of my swimming in the pool, since it is Minnesota and all and we just had snow a few weeks ago. However, my race is only one week away, so I decided I better get a couple of open water swims in before the big day. A 77 degree Friday with mostly sunny skies seemed like the perfect opportunity to give it a try.
I grew up swimming in lakes, so I wasn't too worried. When I was in high school I went to a camp that required us to swim around the perimeter of the swimming area if we wanted to be able to swim past a certain point, so I figured this would be no big deal. I really just wanted wanted to get used to swimming in a wet suit, which was new for me. I wasn't super comfortable about going out on my first swim alone, so I found a beach that had a playground near by and the whole family came with.
I don't think I've ever been so glad that I like to plan and prepare for new things, because it was terrifying. Hanging out at the beach and swimming around every once in a while is one thing, but actually swimming at full speed with goggles and a wet suit is a whole other thing. When you can see weeds and other things moving beneath you as you move along, things get real, really quick. I was on the verge of a full blown panic attack pretty quickly, but I just stopped, took a few deep breaths and reminded myself why I am doing this and then tried again.
Which, let me tell you why I am doing this in case you don't know.
Pretty much any ridiculous endurance activity I do is purely to help raise awareness and money to provide clean water for children in Africa. After running my 3rd marathon in 3 years last year, my knees decided they were done with marathon running for the time being. I have chondromalacia and my cartilage was very angry after three full training seasons. So I spent most of the winter resting and rehabbing and am slowly building up mileage as my knees tolerate. However, I still wanted to be part of Team World Vision and do what I could to help give kids a chance at a longer, healthier, life. So I decided to give sprint triathlons a try.
Back to my swimming experience....after calming myself down, I fell into a pretty decent groove of swimming around the buoys for the swimming area. Then I lost my nose clip and panic ensued. I never used a nose clip until I started swimming on a regular basis. My nose doesn't react well to the chlorine and I was getting multiple sinus infections, so I had to resort to a nose clip to keep as much water as possible out. Now I apparently don't know what to do without it! I kept getting water up my nose, and had all kinds of fears about getting some kind of random disease running through my head. I was right back where I started and had to take a few moments to calm myself down and avoid a panic attack.
If I wasn't doing this for a purpose larger than myself, I would have quit tonight. I don't think I've ever been as terrified as I was out there in that water. But I stopped for a minute and thought about a verse one of my friends who is training for an Ironman shared the other day
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:9
I thought about all of my friends who consistently do courageous things to bring clean water to kids in Africa and I kept on swimming. Every time I thought about stopping because it got to scary, I just repeated that over and over and ended up doing about 1,400 yards.
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I can't imagine what might have happened on race day if I hadn't had the chance to get out there and practice tonight. I'm still completely terrified of race day because there will be all kinds of other people out there at the same time with arms and legs everywhere I look. I'm just praying I don't have a massive panic attack in the middle of it all.
So on the morning of June 3rd, I'll be somewhere in the middle of Long Lake in New Brighton reminding myself that a little bit of fear will hopefully translate into a whole lot of life for kiddos like the these three from Mozambique that our family sponsors.
Can you turn my fears into a bright future for them by giving the gift of clean water?
https://www.teamworldvision.org/participant/tammy2017
