With that being said, I kind of feel like I just need to write. Maybe not about anything at all relevant to this particular blog, but about the first thing that I really fell in love with all on my own, music.
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| My 1st Tattoo |
Music has always been there for me. Due to my extremely introverted tendencies, I have always sucked at the whole being a good friend thing so I spent a lot of time alone growing up. In middle school and high school my Friday and Saturday night fun used to be recording the piano part of a song on my electric piano and playing it back while I played the flute part. I created my own duets for fun while most kids were making out at the movies or getting drunk in corn fields.
I started playing the flute in 5th grade and I was pretty decent at it. I played through high school and into college. I was in a youth orchestra in high school and I often played at church on the weekends. I enjoyed playing, but it wasn't a "cool" instrument so I always wanted to learn something else.
In 7th grade I decided I wanted to learn to play the piano and begged my mom for piano lessons. I got a year of lessons and then started teaching myself. I've got short/stubby fingers that don't fly over the keys quite like I envisioned they would, but I practiced relentlessly until I could play songs that I liked. I never was very great, but it made me happy to play anything at all.
Piano wasn't really cool enough either. I was going to be in a rock band after all, so I needed to learn how to play guitar. Those short, stubby fingers that I mentioned up above...they didn't work very well on the guitar either. I played what I could and wrote some really awesome songs about unrequited love that no one but me ever heard (and the world is a better place because of it). I could crank out the standard chords to play Bible Camp songs, and that made me happy. I'd play "Light the Fire" over and over and over again. I think I'm convinced that if you went to Bible Camp and didn't walk away from it with a desire to play the guitar, you don't have a soul.
When I graduated from high school, I had planned a career in music. I went to school for music industry, but quickly realized that making a career out of something that provided an escape wouldn't turn out well in the long run. Sight singing and late nights in dingy practice rooms practicing my flute soured my love for making music and a long season of performing started to fade away slowly and a season of experiencing music as a spectator began.
The right music at the right time can quiet my mind while the rest of the space around me fills with noise. In college, when I was having a particularly difficult day, I used to turn off all the lights, turn up the music and just lay flat on the floor and be still and listen as I felt my body melt into the floor.
Live music became some what of an addiction for me. My younger sister was my concert going buddy and we had so much fun! (Fun fact: The first time I saw my now brother-in-law he was wearing a Finch t-shirt and working at the Lutheran Campus Ministry both at the activity fair and the first time I saw him I knew he would be perfect for my sister. It took a while for her to be convinced of that, but I'm so glad she finally was.) I'm pretty sure in my lifetime I've spent far more money on concert tickets than clothes and shoes combined. Having all of your senses engaged in the concert going experience is an irreplaceable feeling. Feeling the beat vibrate in my chest brings me great joy.
Now that I have kids, I love sharing music with them. I get misty eyed when I see one of them bopping their head along or singing in the car. There really is nothing else in this world that can communicate emotion like music can. We listen to Classical MPR in the mornings and I teach them about the different instruments they are hearing and it just makes me want to burst at the seams.
I always loved hearing about how my mom went to see the Grass Roots and Alice Cooper happened to be playing at the same event. She always made it really clear she wasn't there to see him, but I think a part of her enjoyed it. So of course, when he was playing for free at the Taste of Minnesota a few years ago, my husband and I had to go see him.
I thought it would be cool to keep a list of all the concerts I have seen to share with my kids when they get older. I started to make a list one night and I don't even know if it is complete because there are just so many I am sure I have forgotten about by now. I doubt anyone is interested, but here is the list I have going right now. Some of these I've seen multiple times, I can't even remember how many times now, it is quite a mix of genres and I might try to deny a few of them (I blame teenage hormones).
| 98 Degrees |
| Alice Cooper |
| Alkaline Trio |
| Andrew WK |
| Augustana |
| Bad Religion |
| BB Mak |
| Bebo Norman |
| Beck |
| Boys II Men |
| Brand New |
| Brian McKnight |
| Britney Spears |
| Brooks n Dunn |
| Building 429 |
| Cake |
| Charlotte Martin |
| Cherry Popping Daddies |
| Chicago |
| Christina Aguilera |
| Circa Survive |
| Coheed and Cambria |
| Dashboard Confessional |
| Disciple |
| Downing Pool |
| Eisley |
| Fallout Boy |
| Finch |
| Flaming Lips Foxing |
| From First to Last |
| Garbage |
| Garth Brooks |
| Goo Goo Dolls |
| Good Charlotte |
| Hawthorne Heights |
| Howie Day |
| Jack's Manequin |
| Jessica Simpson |
| Jimmy Eat World |
| Linkin Park Lithuania |
| Live |
| Mae |
| Mainstay |
| Manchester Orchestra |
| Marcy's Playground |
| Matrimony |
| Matt Nathanson |
| Mayleen & The Sons of Disaster |
| Meredith Brooks |
| Mest |
| MeWithoutYou |
| Montell Jordan |
| Motion City Soundtrack |
| Mushroomhead |
| Needtobreathe |
| New Found Glory |
| NSYNC |
| OK Go |
| Otep |
| Ozzy Osbourne |
| Panic at the Disco! |
| Paramore |
| Phatom Planet |
| Rob Zombie |
| Rufio |
| Rx Bandits |
| Sara Groves |
| Saves the Day |
| Say Anything |
| Semisonic |
| Senses Fail |
| Skillet |
| Something Corporate |
| Soul Asylum |
| Soul Coughing |
| Staind |
| Static X |
| Stephen Curtis Chapman |
| Stone Temple Pilots |
| Story of the Year |
| Straylight Run |
| Switchfoot |
| System of a Down |
| Taking Back Sunday |
| The Civil Wars |
| The Early November |
| The Hush Sound |
| The Killers |
| The Spill Canvas |
| The Starting Line |
| The Used |
| Tim McGraw |
| Twin Forks |
| Underoath |
| Vanessa Carlton |
| Yellowcard |
Most of these bands are probably unknown by most people, but that is what I like. Whenever I say I'm going to a concert, I generally hate the follow up question of "Who are you going to see?" because it is always followed by a blank stare. I like what I like and I don't find most of what I like on the radio. This means the songs don't get over played and the tickets aren't astronomically priced, win-win. I don't like big stadium/arena shows. I prefer much more intimate settings.
In the month of June, I went to three concerts in the span of a two weeks and I realized just how much I've missed music. As I've gotten busy being an adult, I've really stopped taking the time to enjoy music like I used to.
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like today if I hadn't let fear get in the way of my dreams. What if I had followed through on that acceptance to IPR after I finished my bachelor's degree? What if I had completed that application for Middle Tennessee State University? What if I had stuck with the Music Industry program even though I was terrified of sight singing and juries? (Seriously, I still have anxiety attacks when I think of a jury of people judging my flute playing abilities. Music performance majors are some seriously brave folks.). What if I had actually listened to Dr. Gwiazda when he encouraged me to stay in the program and told me I'd regret leaving one day? (That may have had more to do with me tutoring his entire theory class than him actually caring about my future...but who knows.) I try not to get stuck on the what ifs very often, but I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't let fear kill that dream.
Lucky for me, I fell into a career that I enjoy even though I never planned on IT. Even when we let fear get the best of us, God still comes through with a pretty sweet plan. I may not be making or helping someone else make music, but I still get to enjoy it.
My husband and I just planned our 10 year anniversary trip to Nashville to see two of our favorite bands (Brand New and Manchester Orchestra) perform at the Ryman Auditorium. It is a super appropriate trip for us because a big reason we fell in love with each other was our common love of live music. When we first started dating we used to drive around and listen to Damien Rice's "O" and just sit quietly next to each other. We both grew up going to concerts, albeit very different concerts, but we've found common ground today and love seeing shows together.
I've been planning on taking this winter off from running, like for real this time, because my body is just really in need of a break. I think I might use my extra time getting back into making some music as I try to teach the kiddos.
Thanks for listening to me ramble.
Like I said, this has nothing to do with anything, but it is nice just to write something.
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