Made to Crave

I've been promising a review of the book Made toCrave by Lysa TerKeurst for quite some time and I'm finally going to follow through on it today!

When I set out on this journey to start living a healthier life, I knew that I needed to first change my heart and turn to God in the times when I was instead turning to food.  Little did I know that there was already a book all about this!  As the extended title says, Made to Crave is a book about Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food.

I was really excited when I found out about the book because I had read some of Lysa's blogs on the Proverbs 31 website and enjoyed her sense of humor and candor.  Candor is probably the most admirable quality that I find in other people, so I am always excited to find another woman who loves Jesus who isn't afraid to expose their inner dialogue…this is very much Lysa.

The book is formatted to be done in a Bible study/small group format with reflection questions at the end of each chapter, but I just read it by myself.  I think it would be VERY helpful to do with a group of ladies because the challenge questions at the end of each chapter are really great. 

I think this book is one that I will keep around and read through when I start to forget who I am and why I'm doing what I'm doing.  It was a very quick read and will be easy to go back to, even if it is just a chapter here and a chapter there.  I am very aware that changing my thinking isn't going to happen overnight, I spent 30 years using food as my "go-to" for every emotion when instead I should be turning to God, so keeping this book around will be helpful to get me back there when I forget.

Another part of the book that I really like is that Lysa put all of the verses that she references in the book in one nice little section at the back of the book.  As I was reading through the chapters, when I came across a verse I liked, I would look it up in YouVersion and bookmark it so that I could have it at my fingertips in a moment of weakness, but I didn't highlight them in my actual Bible, so it was nice to have them all at the end to go back and do that.

What I like most about this book is that it isn't an "eat this, do that and then life will be grand" kind of book.  Lysa does talk about her no-sugar eating plan, but is very clear that what she did may not work for everyone.  She restricted certain foods completely from her diet and I know that things like that don't work for me and aren't going to solve my problem because I don't necessarily crave certain foods, I just want lots of it!  So for me, watching my calories and paying attention to the calorie content of the food I am eating is much more important. 

If you struggle with food, I HIGHLY recommend reading this book because it helps you understand why you do what you do and helps you learn how to change your behaviors with solid Biblical truths.  I know some people have a hard time with the word "sin", but it is a reality and this book was very helpful in helping me realize when eating becomes more than nourishing my body and instead sinful behavior.   

Top 10 Favorite Quotes from the Book

• "…what we're craving will always depend on what-ever we're consuming … the object of our desire or God and His truth." (Pg 24)

• "God never intended for us to want anything more than we want Him." (Pg 29)

• "Food had become like a drug.  And honestly, it's a good drug choice for a Christian woman.  Every church event I attended readily provided my drug out in the open with no hesitation or judgement." (Pg 37)
• I am pretty sure I shouted,  "Amen!" after I read that.  This is why it is soooo difficult to overcome this battle.  Normally, when you are trying to overcome a problem, you abstain from it, but food is EVERYWHERE!!!  No one thinks twice about offering food to you and often times, well meaning people will provide me with an rationale to enjoy something delicious that I don't really need.  "Oh, just this once won't hurt."  "You have to be bad sometimes."  "You deserve it." …we would never say these kinds of things to someone trying to overcome an alcohol or drug addiction, but I feel like there is always pressure to try food.

• "Being ruled by something other than God diminishes our commitment and will make us feel increasingly distant from Him." (Pg 66)

• "The more I made running about spiritual growth and discipline, the less I focused on the weight.  Each lost pound was not a quest to get skinny but evidence of obedience to God." (Pg 89)
• ….quoted the girl who just went for a run in 20 degree weather (Please pray for unseasonably warm weather on January 1st!!!!)

• "Our flesh buys right into Satan's lie that it's not fair for things to be withheld from us.  So we bite into the forbidden fruit and allow Satan to write "shame" across our heart."  (Pg 100)
• So glad I'm not the only one who feels this way.  This pretty much explains my "Hangry" post

• "If my happy was missing when I was larger, it will still be missing when I get smaller." (Pg 120)
• I think this is SO important.  Fitting into a certain size or seeing a certain number on the scale isn't going to provide happiness.  I feel like so many women put their bodies through hell to try and find happiness this way and it is fleeting….makes me sad for them. 

• "So, I'm not on a diet.  I'm on a journey with Jesus to learn the fine art of self-discipline for the purpose of holiness."  (Pg 158)
• Exactly. 

• "Pursuing holiness means God is the only One we should long for; want greatly; desire eagerly.  The only One worthy of worship." (Pg 173)
• And what a good God he is

• "I've tasted the deep satisfaction of God and I know all other things are but cheap imitations.  And I don't want to be enamored by the lesser things wrought with momentary pleasure." (Pg 174)
• I think this is probably the most important thing that I need to remember when I feel like giving in. 

There are SO MANY more great thoughts, ideas and stories in this book, but these are the ones that impacted me the most.  Like I said before, if you struggle at all with food, PLEASE do yourself a huge favor and read this book!!    

Saaaattttuuuurrrrrrdaaaaaaaay

You'll have to excuse the title of this post, it was the first thing that came to my head and it is from an old Fallout Boy song by the same name.   

I thought I'd do a quick update on where my head/body is at right now.

As my last couple of blogs have indicated, I have been lacking in the motivation department lately.  I've gained back 3 pounds, but I'm hoping they will come back off quickly.  So I'm sitting at 269 right now after being at 266 and I'm not very happy with it, but it is what it is. 

I haven't been eating like crazy, but I haven't been tracking calories either.  I think I just hit a wall and I'm trying very hard to get over it.

I started reading Made to Crave last night and I'm hoping that it will help me get back on track.  I need to find my "want to" as Lysa puts it.  I know what it is deep down, but sometimes I loose focus. 

I started Week 5 of the Couch to 5K on Monday with the walking portions at 5mph and the running at 6mph.  I was about 7 minutes in and my hips decided they were done.  It is Saturday and they still hurt.  I'm hoping to get back on the treadmill tomorrow and slow it down a bit. 

I just signed up for the Polar Dash 5K.  It is on New Years Day and I'm running it with one of my good friends, so I think it will be a lot of fun.  I'm praying that it isn't ridiculously cold that day. 

I was talking to James last night and I am contemplating setting a BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal), an idea Jim Collins came up with.  The 10K was a BHAG for me this year, and I did that.  My BHAG for 2013, is to run the Monster Dash Half Marathon.  It is a GINORMOUS goal, but I need to have those to keep me motivated.  I also need to publicly profess them, even if it leaves some of you saying, "yeah, that isn't going to happen".  I like big hairy audacious goals because it pushes me to grow.

I think part of the reason why I've struggled the past month or so is because I lost focus of what the main goal was here.  My main goal was to get healthy, transform my life and do it with God's help so that he could be glorified.  I haven't been partnering with Him very well in this area of my life, so it is time to get back there. 

I read something yesterday that I really enjoyed by John Piper.  I shared it with the group of volunteers that I "coach" at church and I wanted to share it with you as well.  So here it is.  (If you use You Version, his comments are from the 15 Days Days in the Word with John Piper reading plan.)

As I've been reading through the Bible lately, I've been trying to pay very close attention to how Christ wants us to interact with our neighbors. Perhaps it is because my main spiritual gift is mercy, but I've been feeling God stirring in my heart lately to make His love known to all people. I think there are so many people hurting that desperately need God, but you would never know it. So many "ones" that we can be praying for.

As I've been reading, I keep coming back to the verses that refer to the body of Christ as salt and light. I've been doing a You Version study by John Piper and he just happened to reference many of these verses today. Mark 9:50 was particularly notable for me ; "Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its saltiness, how will you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another."

Piper goes on to suggest what he believes it means to be the salt and the light and I really enjoyed what he said: "to be the salt of the earth and the light of the world means that at root Christians are so profoundly satisfied by Christ as our eternal reward, we are freed from fear and greed for the sacrifices of love, and are able to rejoice at persecution. When the world sees this, they see the glory of Christ and taste the satisfying pleasure of who he is."

I want so desperately for others to see this in me. I have a lot of work to do, but I am thankful that we worship a God who offers us grace upon grace and keeps giving us opportunities to get it right. I pray that Christ is always enough to keep me satisfied.

So that is that.  Have a great Saturday.  Thanks for reading even though I get "stuck" sometimes. 

Fresh Ears

I'd love to tell you what day it is on the Daniel Fast, but the truth is the minute after I hit publish on my last blog entry, I walked into the kitchen and ate one of my mom's infamous banana bars.  Disappointing, not just for me, but I'm sure for all of you reading and pulling for me behind the scenes.  I have been saying from day 1 of this adventure that I didn't want to do anything that wasn't sustainable and there is just no way I could sustain eating that way, for a variety of reasons, so my heart just wasn't in it.  I really wanted it to be because James really was committed to doing it, but I just wasn't there.  It always seems to be that way for us on this whole getting healthy journey, one is weak while the other is strong. 

I'm somewhat comforted by the fact that I learned tonight that I'm not alone in my consistent disappointing and self defeating choices.  People have been doing this same thing since the beginning of time.  I was watching the first sermon in the latest North Point series, Free, tonight as I was on the treadmill and Andy Stanley based much of his sermon off of these verses:
 
15For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. Romans 7:15-20 (ESV)

I've heard/read this before, but tonight it finally clicked.  I love how God gives us fresh ears to hear and understand things that we've heard before in a new way.  Paul is quite wordy with this, but basically, what it sums up to be is that the reason we all keep doing the stupid stuff that we know we shouldn't do is because sin is in us.  We are sinful and the only person who can do anything about it is Jesus.  We desperately need Jesus.  I desperately need Jesus.

I recently recommended the book Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst without having read it myself.  I have heard good things about Lysa and love Proverbs 31, so I figured it would be good.  After my friend told me how great it was, I decided to do some more investigation and bought it for myself.  I signed up for the 21 Day Challenge and have been getting daily e-mails....can I say refreshing?  Seriously, Lysa has already completely done and documented everything I am trying to do.  It was kind of a huge relief to know that I don't have to try and figure this out on my own and know that so many people struggle with the same thing.  I'm trying to finish up another book before I dive into it, but I'm hoping to start it soon.

I'm hoping that while reading the book I will get a second wind in my efforts because I feel like I've been puttering around like the little old timey cars at amusement parks for the past couple of months.  I guess it kind of makes sense to be at this point right now since I'm nearly at the halfway mark. 

I need a fresh start, especially after the past week/weekend.  I wouldn't say that I went crazy, I didn't eat a ton, I just didn't make the best choices.  It is hard to make good choices when there are birthday celebrations going on!  

We had a birthday party for my daughter yesterday.  She requested a pony cake (which turned into a unicorn) and macaroni and cheese.  When I think of macaroni and cheese, I think of John Legend.  He shared his family recipe with Martha Stewart a few years ago on her show and it quickly became my favorite mac and cheese recipe.  It isn't a recipe that you will find on any diet blogs, but it is quite delicious.  I decided to go with a southern soul food vibe for the rest of the menu and made cornbread, chicken strips and calico beans to go with it.  There weren't any leftovers, which I was very happy about for many reasons.  I love cooking for my family because it gives me an opportunity to make things that I love and want to have a little taste of without having a bunch left.

The cake, well, Rory was pleased with it, which is I guess all that matters, but I won't be making cake decorating a new hobby anytime soon.

 

no birthday is complete without silly face pictures



 

I love my little girl.  I have to be successful in this transformation for her (and her brothers).  She had her 4 year well child check last week and her doctor is already concerned about her BMI and we have to go back in three months for a follow up appointment.  What bothered me most about the doctors comments was that she immediately assumed that she spends all day in front of the television. We have been so intentional about not having our kids in front of the tv, we don't even have a tv in our living room. Not all people who are overweight are lazy and I hate that assumption that we are.

She is proportional, but a big girl just like her mom.  A girl who loves chocolate and carbohydrates, just like her mom.  A girl who has already been caught multiple times sneaking food, just like her mom.  I don't want her to go through school hating herself, just like her mom.  I need to model a healthy life for her.  I need to make sure that she knows that she is beautiful just the way she is.  In my conversations with her, I just keep explaining that she can't have another treat because we need to make sure her body is healthy.  I want to associate everything regarding the choices we make about food and exercise to be about health and not about appearance.  

As always, thanks for reading and allowing me an outlet to be completely transparent.  I very much appreciate it.