Seven

It is a gross day here in Minnesota.  It is rain/sleet/snow/icing and the sun is nowhere to be found, a good day to be lazy, a good day to take a nap.

I spent the morning being angry at the world, angry at my food choices yesterday, angry that I even have to be concerned about food choices.....the list is substantial.  Some days I just wake up with a ginormous chip on my shoulder and today is one of those days.  I contemplated going to church again this morning even though we went last night, but getting all three kids to church by myself is always far more stressful than it should be, especially with a certain three year old who really loves to run. 

Instead we headed out to Babies R Us to get a new carseat for Rory so that we can do the car seat shuffle and make sure everyone is in a seat that is appropriate for them. (I'm glad the boys don't know yet how girly their seats are....but when pink and butterflies are on clearance, that is what you get.)  Other than the aforementioned runner, we were in and out fairly quickly so I decided to brave Target and pick up a couple of things.  I should have quit while I was ahead, Target on Sunday morning is no place for a stressed mom and three hungry kids.  I apologize to the lovely people of Woodbury who got to enjoy tantrums from all three of my lovely babes.

We have successfully made it to nap time and I really thought about joining them, but instead I made myself a cup of coffee, threw on some Secondhand Serenade and decided to finally share my thoughts on the book, 7, by Jen Hatmaker.

I could give you a brief synopsis, but there is already a nifty You Tube video that does just that, so I'll spare you the words and you can watch this

Pretty amazing, right.

This was the first book that I've read by Jen, but I've been enjoying her blog for a while.  It is rare that you find a woman who loves God, loves people and is also hilarious, but that is exactly what Jen is.  Her 2012 Summer Olympic commentary on Twitter had me laughing hysterically.

7 did not disappoint.  I laughed and cried as I read through Jen's commentary on the 7 experiment.  I think it is impossible to read the book and not dramatically change the way you think about every day decisions and the downstream impact that they have. 

James and I found ourselves at the Mall of America on a date night while I was reading the book and there was a really cute outfit that I knew Rory would love on clearance, I had it in my hand and was headed to the register when this little voice in my head creeped in and said, "But does she really NEED that?".  I stopped dead in my tracks, turned around and put it back on the shelf and we left.  It was cute, she would have loved it, but her drawers are already overflowing with cute clothes, she didn't NEED it.  

My poor husband doesn't know what to do with me sometimes because I've had many moments like this since reading the book....but then again, I am the girl that stood in the vitamin isle at Target sobbing as I bought vitamins to send to orphans in Haiti.  All I could think about was how there are so many beautiful children out there who don't have a mom or dad to do simple things for them like buying vitamins.  My heart is constantly broken for orphans and people living in poverty and this book helps make the connection between the day to day decisions that we make and how they keep us living lives of excess and ignoring the "least of these", the people that God has called us to love and serve. 

I would really love to actually do the 7 experiment, but I don't want to do it alone, I'd love to try and talk my small group into it since there is a small group curriculum.  (What do you think ladies??)  I know it would take a lot of planning for me to make this successfull in our family, but I'd really like to make it happen.     

I think the one theme in the book that I kept seeing was how far Christians today have strayed from the life that Jesus called us to.

I think the chapters that had the greatest impact on me were food, spending and stress....all very critical at this phase in my life.  There are so many great stories in the book, but I think my favorite was hearing about how the Hatmaker's church took their Easter service to the homeless in Austin, TX.  They worshipped alongside people that, if we are really honest about, would probably not be welcomed into many of our churches because it might make someone uncomfortable.   

There are so many great stories and a lot of though provoking thoughts, but here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book:

"We are far from Jesus' original vision: the whole enterprise would be unrecognizable to our early church fathers.  The earth is groaning, and we're putting coffee bars in our thirty-five million dollar sanctuaries.  Just because we can have it doesn't mean we should.  I marvel at how out of place simple, humble Jesus would be in today's American churches." (Pg 157)

"I think the early church would cover their heads with ashes and grieve over the dilution of Jesus' beautiful church vision.  We've taken his Plan A for mercy to an injured lost planet and neutered it to clever sermon series and stitch-and-chat in the Fellowship Hall, serving the saved.  If the modern church held to its biblical definition, we would become the answer to all that ails society.  We wouldn't have to baby-talk and cajole and coax people into our sanctuaries through witty mailers and strategic adds; they'd be running to us.  The local church would be the heartbeat of the city, undeniable by our staunchest critics." (Pg 174)

"The church was patterned after a savior who had no place to lay his head and voluntarily died a brutal death, even knowing we would reduce the gospel to a self-serving personal improvement program where people were encouraged to make a truce with their maker and stop sinning and join the church, when in fact the gospel does not call for a truce but a complete surrender." (Pg 174)

"I'm guessing you've cried over orphans or refugees or starvation or child prostitutes, heartbroken by the depravity of this world.  It's not okay that your kids get school and birthday parties while third world children get abandoned and trafficked, but you don't know how to fix that." (Pg 220)

In case you can't tell by the portions of the book that made a big impact on me, I struggle a lot with my thoughts on the church and what we could be doing vs what we are actually doing.  God has been working on me in a big way in this area and I'm praying and reading my way through it, trying to watch for what he is trying to teach me.

Our church does A LOT for people locally and globally, but I think we could do so much more if we didn't try so hard to make following Jesus glamorous.  We try to fit Jesus into the world's definition of fun and exciting and call it relevance instead of simply loving and humbly serving others.  Yes, there are thousands of people hearing about Jesus each weekend, but I fear that when you come to know this glamorous Jesus, you can get stuck waiting to see what God can do for you rather than what God can do through you...I should know, I was stuck there for a long time myself.   

So I guess I'll end this with a plea for you to read the book if you haven't already and start thinking about the areas in your life that are excessive.  What resources do you have that could be freed up from feeding your desires and shifted into furthering God's kingdom?  Do you have an empty room that could be a home for a child who longs for a family?  Do you have time to spend serving the homeless and underprivileged?  Can you spare $35 a month to sponsor a child through World Vision or Compassion International?  How about giving a one time donation to help improve the quality of care for women in Haiti?  There are so many ways that you can make a difference. 

I struggle so much with wanting to do more at a time in my life where I really don't have a lot of extra time to give.  We give financially to a few organizations, but know that we could do a lot more if we cut back in certain areas.  I just keep praying that God will use me and help me find ways to make a difference even if it isn't as grand as I feel it has to be.     
        
I'd love to hear your thoughts!  Have you read 7?  Have you done the experiment?  What kinds of things are you doing to make a difference?           

Virtual 5K

Happy Friday!

I have the day off to get some work done at home while the kiddos are off at school and daycare, a much needed day. 

I like to read the blog RunsforCookies, if you haven't read it before, I recommend checking it out if you like weight loss success stories.  Anyway, today is Katie's 31st birthday, so she decided to have a Virtual 5K (3.1 miles) to celebrate.  A race with no entry fee that I can run whenever I want to??  I'm in.

I had planned on running on the treadmill since it has been so ridiculously cold here, but when I woke up to 15 degrees, I decided to head outside.  I got bundled up and headed to a trail that I ran a lot on this summer but haven't run on in the winter.  It is a state trail, so I figured it would be groomed well, but I figured incorrectly.  It was quite snowy and icy, I almost turned around and headed back home to the treadmill but instead decided to give it a go.  I had a goal of finishing in under 37 minutes, but more so than that, I had a goal to keep running and not take any walk breaks.  With the icy conditions I didn't meet goal 1 (37:46 was my time), but I did meet goal 2 and ran the whole way.  It has been a really long time since I've actually done a 5K without any walk breaks outside, so I was happy about that. 

I quit on myself so many times when I know I have more in me because I just don't think I'm capable of pushing through it. So my goal today was to just keep going because I know I my body is able, my mind just doesn't always agree. It is such a struggle to overcome self doubt in the area of endurance and physical ability for me. For 31 years I've told myself I can't keep going because I'm too out of shape, too tired, too big....I'm done.

Pardon the extreme closeup and lack of makeup

I've been watching The Biggest Loser lately and I think I start crying at some point during every episode because I can completely relate to the feeling of failure and defeat that so many of the contestants deal with.  It is especially difficult for me to hear the three kids discuss their challenges with weight and bullying because I've so been there.  I can completely relate to Sunny and I want her to succeed so badly. 

I am really glad that they are addressing childhood obesity this season and I hope some kiddos are inspired to make healthy changes in their life, but I'm also a little bit concerned for how easy they made it seem for the kids to hop into normal kid activities and be welcomed with open arms.  It is always going to be a challenge for a chubby kid to fit into a team sport environment.  Despite always being overweight, I played volleyball, basketball and softball, but it wasn't without a whole lot of heartache.  Your confidence takes a huge beating when you are ALWAYS the last one finishing the mile run or killers....not to mention getting cut from the JV volleyball team mid-season because you aren't showing any potential (at least I wasn't alone in that one).  Getting active as an overweight kid is hard and often leads to more self defeat and I wish that they would acknowledge that and offer some ways for kids to overcome that. 

I also realized this week that I think I'm eating significantly fewer calories than I should be.  When I lost four pounds quickly during a week where I wasn't exercising, I started to wonder what in the world was going on.  As soon as I started exercising again, the scale went the wrong way and then stopped.  I looked at a couple of nutrition websites and the recommended rapid weight loss calorie goal for me is about 500 more net calories a day than I've been eating (2,000 vs 1,500).  So I'm going to test it out and see what happens. 

Well, I better get busy and make the most of the day!  Thanks for reading and enjoy the weekend!    

You Know Me

This was the sunset that I got to enjoy yesterday morning as I took the kiddos to school and daycare.  It was so beautiful and the colors so vivid, the picture doesn't do it justice, but it was the best I could capture quickly at a stop light.

When I saw it, I started to think about a song that I think I've shared in a post before, but it is just such an amazing song, I have to share it again

 The song is influenced greatly by Psalm 139 and the lines that I thought of specifically yesterday morning were:

"You know when I rise and when I fall
When I come or go, You see it all
You hung the stars and You move the sea,
and still You know me"

It is really awesome when you stop to think about how great and mighty God is and how even in His greatness, he knows every detail about every one of us.  He made the beautiful sunrise yesterday and he "knit together" each one of us.  Simply amazing. 

O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.  You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.  (Psalm 139: 1-10, ESV)

What great comfort to know that we are never outside of the presence of such an amazing God.  I always put this song on my running playlists and whenever it comes on, I often find myself closing my eyes and just praising and thanking God for his greatness.  I love knowing that even when I'm on the trail in the middle of nowhere, God knows exactly where I am and he knows the struggles that I'm going through, I can honestly feel His presence when I am reminded of this.  It is invigorating, so even though the song isn't fast paced, it helps me keep on keepin on. 


Life has been pretty good lately despite the inevitable sickness that seems to flood our house at this time of year.  The crud just seems to cycle through each of us slowly and right now my daughter and I have it.  Since I've been dealing with the crud since Monday, I've been completely exhausted and haven't really done much in the way of exercise.  I managed to do a quick 2 1/4 mile run on the treadmill early Wednesday morning, but that has been in this week.  Despite that (or maybe because of it), the scale has been moving rapidly this week and I'm just 2 pounds away from the 100 pound mark. 

100 pounds is pretty remarkable, but I really hate the ridiculous things I tell myself sometime that steal away the joy that can come from milestones like this.  I commonly tell myself that loosing this weight doesn't really count because I spent most of my college/high school days between 240 and 260 pounds, so I've been here before.  Yes, I still had to loose it, but I won't feel like I'm actually doing something worth getting excited about until I am below 240.  This is how my head works, it is a scary place.

Last Saturday I did a treadmill run and I realized that my body is capable of much more than I think it is.  I had started out the run telling myself that I was just going to do a slow 5K to get something done, but as I went, I decided to push myself a bit more and kicked the speed up to 6.0 and 6.5 at the end of the run.  I was surprised how much I had left in me at the end and I was determined to keep going and push through it and I ran my best 5K time, 36:43.

I started to think about all of the times in my life that I probably could have pushed myself harder or given more and was fully capable of it, but self doubt clouded my mind and I gave up much earlier than I needed to.  I need to figure out how to get out of this cycle so that I can push myself and reach my full potential.  It was interesting for me to realize the difference between self discipline and perseverance and how I'm not at my best unless they are both in the mix.  I'm hoping to figure out how to get both of them in the mix.

Thanks for reading and enjoy the weekend!  Hopefully I'll have a 100 pound milestone post soon!

Sabbath and The Soundtrack of My Life circa 2009

I made a decision today that I think might help in the long run even though it feels counter productive right now.  I decided that on Sunday evening, once the kids are in bed, I'm going to allow myself a couple of hours to sit, relax and do nothing else....well, except for watch Downton Abbey (hooray!  so excited for season 3 to start tonight!).  I pretty much never just stop to sit down and kick my feet up.  If I'm watching TV it is while I'm on the treadmill or folding laundry, other than that, it pretty much doesn't happen.  I think that taking an actual break on Sunday evening will help prepare me for the week.

I think it is interesting how so many Christians have completely gotten away from the idea of a Sabbath.  Sure, we go to church and worship on Sunday (or Saturday in our case), but life seems to resume pretty quickly once we walk out the door.  God obviously knew that we would need a day every single week to rest and spend some time quieting ourselves and listening to him.  So even though I may not be reserving an entire day, I've got at least three hours that I'm going to get the most out of by slowing down for one night. 

I am working on being more joyful.  I am a coach/team lead for the early childhood ministry volunteers at my church and this morning before services all of the volunteers went around and shared any goal(s) that they had for 2013.  I mentioned my goal of trying to find more joy in the day to day.  Later in the morning, one of the volunteers told me she'd be praying for me in my quest for joy and I was so thankful.  I love being part of a community and team that prays for each other through all that life throws at us. 

I was able to bask in quite a bit of joy this evening.  We frequently have family dance parties in the evening that consist of me or James finding random songs on You Tube or Vevo that we think the kids will enjoy dancing to.  Tonight, James was playing the horribly out of tune guitar that we got our daughter for Christmas and a couple of the strums reminded me of the song Sharp Hint of New Tears by Dashboard Confessional.  The song ended up getting stuck in my head and the only way to get a song unstuck is to listen to it.  So we threw it on for the kids and they started to do some wonderful interpretive dances.  That sparked a few other Dashboard songs, like Stolen and Don't Wait.  I snuggled up next to James on the couch and we just watched the three of them dance to songs that spoke to me during a very empty time in my life and I was filled with joy.   

All of those flashback songs reminded me of a "note" that I put on Facebook back in 2009.  It was kind of amusing to go back and read that and see how much I've changed in just under four years.  I guess motherhood will do that to you!  I went through the soundtrack of my life and thought I'd share it again on here.  (Please don't judge me by past music choices....some of them were painfully bad, but a part of my life none the less.)  Enjoy a blast from my past!

So I was sitting at home tonight while James was at work and Rory was asleep just listening to some songs that I haven't listened to forever and I was immediately taken back to moments in my life that I remember listening to them so I started to make a list of some of them and it got a bit long - but here are songs that would be played if anyone ever made a movie about my life

Bon Jovi – You Give Love a Bad Name:

I distinctly remember hearing this song play on the Juke Box (with my dollar I might add) at the Red Barn Resort in Sauk Center one summer whilst playing pool with my sister and a new summertime friend singing our lungs out. I must have been eight or nine.

Color Me Badd – I Wanna Sex You Up:

Seriously, what was a girl of ten young years doing listening to a song like this??? I remember blaring this on our new cd player in our living room at our house on Jefferson Street with my sisters (If I was 10, that means Laura was 7, making it even more wrong)

New Kids on the Block – Step by Step

I remember watching this video on a countdown while hanging out with my mom at work on a Saturday – we didn’t have cable at home, but she did at work, so we would go with her to work on Saturday mostly to watch MTV/VH1

Ru Paul – Supermodel:

I asked James if he knew whatever happened to RuPaul the other day….no luck. Anyway – I got my very first discman for Christmas when I was in 7th grade and I got two CDs with it – MTV Party to Go 4 (what the crap?) and Garth Brooks – In Pieces. I remember sitting in the small gym at NUJHS in costume for Lil Abner waiting between scenes and just listening to Supermodel over and over - very strange

Boyz II Men – Water Runs Dry:

I remember listening to this song very loudly in the basement bathroom at our first house in Farmtown. Pretty sure I was getting ready for a dance where I would undoubtedly have stood around awkwardly waiting for someone to ask me to dance…..little did I know that I would keep waiting forever, pretty sure the first time and really the only time someone ever asked me to dance (other than Prom/Weddings, and then it doesn’t count cause you are with a date) was when I went to visit my sister Jenny at college when she was a freshman (making me a sophomore in high school) and we went to some lame-o college dance cause she liked some boy that was there and one of his friends asked me to dance to some country song, I think by John Michael Montgomery…..that one got a bit long, sorry


Light the Fire (Camp Song):

Sky Ranch in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado – evening worship after a long day of hiking and taking in God’s amazing creation – the first time I truly felt the Holy Spirit moving in me and was brought to tears of joy because of God’s amazing love

Better than Ezra – Desperately Wanting:

Riding with an older girl from my summer softball team  – she gave me a ride to a softball game and she was totally alternative and I thought she was awesome – she was listening to the 93.7 – The EGDE (best radio station ever I think) – I was new to the metro area and had never heard it before and I was immediately hooked to the station and the music on it

The Cardigans – Love Fool

I remember listening to this in my bedroom on a school night – it was on in the background when a friend called me and told me she was having a rough night because her dad had passed away – I was in 8th grade and had no idea what to say, but I felt very sad for her – I was sitting in this awesome red/orange chair that I still have (only painted) in our basement

NIN – The Perfect Drug

I remember the first time I heard this song I was with my boy obsession for most of high school – I swear there were so many tears shed over him that you could have easily filled a bathtub – I was riding around with him like we often did – we always hung out in his car, just drove around or sat in parking lots and listened to music and talked – anyway, we were turning from 160th onto Highway 3 when it came on the radio and he cranked it and told me how awesome the song was. I of course being my over analytical self read too much into it and thought that was his way of telling me that I was his perfect drug, when really, he just liked the song…..not me, well, not like that anyway…..at least not then, maybe not ever, but we did make out a couple of times, and then he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship, so I thought that meant he didn’t want to make out with me anymore, so I started ignoring him – months later I would find out that he did like me, only I completely ruined that because I started dating someone else who he really wasn’t a fan of.

Backstreet Boys – All I Have to Give

During my one and only actual very short lived relationship during high school - Driving down Pilot Knob he put on this song and I thought it was the bees knees. He always had the perfect song for the moment – it was amazing. We went to prom together our Junior year and that is all I can think of when I hear K-Ci and JoJo – All My Life. I was ridiculous in high school and had no idea what I was doing and completely messed that one up – but we became friends again after high school.

N'SYNC - Tearin Up My Heart

Laura and I went out driving together shortly after I got my license and this song came on the radio - we got so excited and just cranked it up and sang along at the top of our lungs and then proceeded to talk about how good looking Lance Bass and Justin Timberlake were and how their voices made us melt......

Cake – The Distance

Sticking with the prom theme – senior year prom I went with one of my good friends – I remember riding with him to The Wilds in Prior Lake after grand march and listening to this song in his mom’s Buick with the volume controls on the steering wheel. Steve is one of the bestest guys you’ll ever find – great friend and sarcastic to the bone. I remember many late nights hanging out with him and some other friends in his parent’s basement just laughing our behinds off. I know I did something to damage that relationship – not sure of the details, but it makes me sad, but I can’t say I’ve ever really done anything to keep in touch cause I pretty much suck at that. I do miss the fun had.

Metallica – Enter Sandman

Also prom with a couple of friends dancing ridiculously and just having a good time – we’ve had more fun together than I think I’ve ever had with anyone outside of my family

Shout to the Lord:

Benson Bunker Field House, NDSU, worshiping at The River on a Friday night with my Campus Crusade buddies – Holy Spirit moved me to tears – gave my life to Christ that night. I definitely got lost after leaving Moorhead and transferring to Mankato and not finding a Christian organization like Campus Crusade there – I tried so hard to find somewhere to belong but it just never happened and I turned to the world. I often wonder how different my life would be if I had stayed at Moorhead State surrounded by people who loved God – I know I wouldn’t have nearly as many emotional scars – but I also wouldn’t be where I am today and I am very happy with that

Candlebox – Far Behind

This is not a good memory – but a memory none the less. Sitting in a dorm room at St. Olaf feeling sick to my stomach because the biggest scum bag of scum bags (my “boyfriend’ and apparently a lot of other girl’s) had stolen something from me that I would never be able to get back and drastically changed the course of my life for the next five years

Lifehouse – Simon/Breathing/Somewhere in Between/Everything

Sitting in my dorm room at Mankato at the end of the hall – a Friday night – laying on the floor on my back with my head against my dresser with my stereo on top under my loft with these songs blaring on repeat – trying to get through another lonely night – college really sucks when you don’t drink and don’t have a boyfriend and everyone else you know does

Dashboard Confessional – Again I Go Unnoticed

Saturday morning in the same dorm room in Mankato – perhaps even the morning after the night described above – who knows really. Anywhoo, I heard this song coming through my heat register from the room above me and I was completely drawn in – it seriously was like my “emotions” coming out in a song – I ran upstairs and knocked on the door to find out what it was because I had no idea – the guys was totally creeped out I’m sure – but I am so happy – I love Dashboard

Puddle of Mudd – Blurry

Springtime at Mankato – I was sitting under a tree doing homework listening to this on my discman – thinking my life was going to be better now that I had found a boyfriend who also liked this song…..could I have been more wrong?

Good Charlotte – Change

The worst Halloween ever (funny how just six years later I had the best day/Halloween of my life) I had just gotten back to my dorm room in Bemidji after having the worst panic attack of my life after I decided to go sit outside for like twenty minutes in the cold with no jacket to see if anyone (including my boyfriend from above song) would notice that I was gone – no one did. I put this song on and crawled up in my bed and cried like I’ve never cried before. Boy am I glad I’m not that person anymore.

Cary Brothers – Blue Eyes

The turning point – so I had just been on a few dates with this fantabulous guy named James – I thought he was the best thing since sliced bread – he called me up one night after I had gotten home from work and asked if he could stop by quickly – he stopped by and dropped off a belated birthday present because we hadn’t gone out yet when it was my birthday but he still wanted to get me something – one of those things was the soundtrack to Garden State – we had seen the movie together and he just wanted to see me even though he couldn’t stay long – I think I listened to this CD, specifically Blue Eyes over and over all night long with a big grin on my face

Damien Rice – Cannonball/Volcano and others

Another date with this James fella – we ended up stopping at Cheapo in St. Paul and I picked up a couple of CDs – Damien Rice – O and Jimmy Eat World – Bleed American. We drove around in my Altima with the windows down and Damien Rice blaring and I knew that I was in love

The Killers – Andy You’re a Star

Driving down highway 61 between Grand Marais and Duluth somewhere this song was on and I was driving and I looked over at James and he was sound asleep – for the first time in my life I felt a sense of completeness and security

My Chemical Romance – Helena

My first night as a wife driving down the strip in Las Vegas in a convertible with the top down with the love of my life right next to me and the rest of our life together ahead of us – all I really need to say :o)

Kenny Bristol – Jesus Paid it All

A Sunday morning a month or so before I had Rory I remember just closing my eyes and singing and the tears just falling because she started moving around and I just felt so full of love

Lullaby Land – Extractor Fan

Many, many nights I would listen to this blaring in our bedroom with Rory finally asleep in the bassinet next to our bed – I don’t know what we would have done without this track – it kept us sane. James and I would always joke about this being our favorite song.

Matt Nathanson – Still

I listened to this driving home from class last Tuesday after presenting our business plan and finally feeling a sense of relief. I was driving down 62 with my windows open even though it was a little bit cold - I just felt perfect peace and happiness and started to remember just how much I love music and the feelings, memories and emotions that it evokes within me. It really is my drug of choice.

Hello 2013

Welcome to 2013!

I started the year off with a 5K in ridiculously cold weather.  Despite the cold, it was a lot of fun.  I did the race with my friend Kelley.  It was her first 5K and she did a great job, I'm so glad we were able to do it together!  The race didn't go as well as I had hoped for today, I came very close to my goal, but didn't quite hit it.

My goal was to be under 37:00, so I was 43 seconds off, but I'm still happy with the results given the cold weather and the fact that I haven't gotten to do much training outside.  Running outside is so much harder on my legs than running on a treadmill and I started too quickly so I ended up taking a few walk breaks.  

I kind of hate seeing the mile marker signs.  I thought we must have been about half way when I saw the 1 mile mark....no good since my legs were already burning.  I just focused on my music and kept pressing on, all in all it was a good day!  Here is our before and after

2013 is off to a good start and I'm very much looking forward to what the rest of the year will bring.  I was doing my daily Bible reading a few days ago and came across these verses from Titus 2: 11-14

11For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, 12training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,13waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, 14who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.

As I was reading them I just kind of got this feeling that God was telling me that this is what he wanted me to focus on this year.  So for the first time ever, I have a verse of the year and Titus 2:11-14 is it.  2013 will be a year of getting rid of worldly passions, which is perfect because I've been reading the book "7" by Jen Hatmaker and that book is all about getting rid of our worldly passions.  This year will also be another year focused on improving my self-control and growing closer to God.  That being said, I have a few goals that I'll be working toward

1) Have a consistent Bible reading/prayer time each morning. 

• Right now I usually do my reading at night and I'm usually so tired that I end up falling asleep.  I need to do it at a time where I'm more focused and have more energy and morning tends to be it for me.  I also want to do a better job of starting my day off in prayer and giving my day over to God.

2) Continue to make healthy choices in the food that I eat and the activities that I do by working out 5 times a week and eating less processed food.  

• My Christmas present from James is getting to join a gym.  We can swing the monthly fee, but the joining/registration fee was more than I was ready to pay at any point last year.  I hate joining in January when everyone else is, so I might wait until February.  My main reason for wanting to join a gym is because I want to be able to work more on gaining muscle and moving a pin on a machine is much more manageable for me than moving a bunch of plate weight around on the smith rack at home....I hate plate weight.  

3) More joy

• I've spent far too much time crying, stressed and angry lately.  I need to fix this.  I'm thinking this one will require some external help from a psychologist.  I've definitely got some baggage from my childhood that reared its head last week out of nowhere and I need to work through it.

4) Keep on running

• My tentative plan for 2013 is
• Manitou Days 5K
• Color Run
• Dirty Girl Mud Run
• Twin Cities 10 Mile
• Monster Dash Half Marathon
• The last two are big, lofty and pretty much ridiculous given my current size and pace, but I think I'm up for the challenge.  The Monster Dash has 12:30/mile pacers, so we shall see!  I like races because they give me something to work towards, which I need, but I hate all the stupid entrance fees.  

That pretty much sums it up.  I know goals are supposed to be measurable and mine aren't necessarily anything that can be measured, but they are what they are and I'll make the best out of them.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful 2013!