Hello 80 Degrees

It has been a while, I apologize.  Life seems to get away from me some times and the days go way too quickly.

Here is a brief recap of the past week:

Friday - Had a nice date night at MOA with the hubby.  We ate at Tucci Benucch for the first time in a long time and I was really happy that we went there.  We split a pizza and salad and I had a Tiramisu Martini with a twist of the arm....it was delicious.  I bought a couple of shirts and a dress from Old Navy and they all fit, which is exciting.  I normally have to shop online for things from ON since the plus size line is "exclusively" online.  I kind of hate it when places use the world exclusively for something like that, please just be honest and use the word only.  I feel like exclusive should be reserved for super cool swanky things, and there is nothing super cool or swanky about not being able to try things on before purchasing them. 

Saturday - I usually run on Saturday morning, it was supposed to rain/storm so I decided to stay inside and use the treadmill.  I LOATHE running on the treadmill.  I'm just not good at seeing the time ticking down in front of me and I can't get "in the zone".  I did about 15 minutes of intervals to try and keep myself entertained, but I just couldn't do it.  So I threw in the towel and rode the recumbent bike for 20 minutes.  I was frustrated, but tried to stay positive.

Monday - My allergies turned into a really bad cold and left me exhausted.  I stayed home from work to sleep and try and recover. 

Tuesday - I still felt pretty crappy but went to work.  It is also one of my running days.  Normally I just bring all my gear to work with me and run on my way home, but the forecast said it would be raining at that time, so I didn't bring anything with.....but that only applies when the meteorologists know what they are talking about.  It wasn't raining when I left work and I could have gotten a run in before it started, but by the time I was able to run, it was raining....again.  I decided to venture downstairs again and give the treadmill a go.  I lasted about 15 minutes before I decided that it just wasn't going to happen.  I then did the recumbent bike for 20 minutes and did some strength training when I was done. 

I ended my workout feeling defeated, frustrated and angry.  After I got done, I was doing the dishes and just kept finding things to complain about.  I was mad that I have to sacrifice sleep and clean dishes for exercise, sick of being sick and frustrated with not having enough time to spend with my kids....it was a huge pity party for one.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the only person I was mad at was myself.  I was mad at the expectations that I have for myself.

I've done the StrengthsFinder assessment quite a few times now, but Responsibility and Empathy are almost always in my top 5 strengths.  As I was finishing up the dishes, I came to the realization that the reason I have such high expectations for myself, never ask for help and get mad at myself is because of the combo of those two qualities.  I want things done right and to meet my expectations.  I will do whatever I have to do to make it happen.  I rarely expect anything from anyone else or have the same standards for others.  I can always talk myself into understanding why someone else wasn't able to do something (gotta love empathy), but I can never seem to do the same for myself.  It is an interesting mix that I need to learn to handle better, but I was quite proud of the revelation that I had.  It made me understand myself a little bit better and I felt better after realizing why I do what I do.

Wednesday - Work and Small Group.  It is always nice to just sit and talk with women that Love God and want to grow in their relationship with him.  Even if we don't always stay focused, I think we all always walk away learning something. 

Thursday (today) - I stopped at Como on my way home and ran outside for the first time in a week.  I had planned on trying to actually run 5K's without stopping, but the combination of recovering from a cold, 80 degree weather and 60% humidity made my body have a different plan.  I ran for 30 minutes and felt like I was going to pass out and puke so I walked the rest of the way.  I am trying to give myself some grace since I'm still on the mend, but I'm still not so good at that....but I'm trying.

On a positive note, the scale said 296.2 and I haven't seen that pesky 3 at the front of the scale in a week.  I'm smiling about that.  I have been specifically staying away from counting calories and just focusing on making better choices and I'm happy to see that the weight is coming off by doing that.  I know that I'll get to a point where I do need to be more diligent about watching caloric intake, but I don't want to get stuck in the "diet" trap.  I'm not on a diet, I'm changing my life and I need to do something that is sustainable.

I guess that about sums it up because I've got a naked two year old who should be fast asleep.

Thanks for reading!