I ended the last post with a bit of a cliffhanger, although if you know anything about me at all, you'll know that I decided to take my chances on Internet dating one more time, much to the dismay of my mom and little sister. They both swore that I would end up dead in a back alley somewhere, but I knew better. (I just have to take and minute and thank God for his protection through the years I described in Part 2. It is only by his grace and for my parents praying me through that I never did end up meeting a psychopath online.)
I decided to return the e-mail from this mysterious James character. He was a Christian and enjoyed a lot of the same things that I did. We started exchanging e-mails and chatting over instant messenger. Within a couple of weeks, we had decided that it was time to meet in person. September 5, 2004 was the day we agreed upon. He was going to pick me up and we were going to check out Ikea (it was brand spanking new in MN), see a movie and then head to dinner.
From the minute I opened the door, something in me just knew that this would be the last first date I would go on. We headed up to Ikea and went through the maze of home furnishings and agreed on liking or disliking quite a few things (always a good sign, home decor is important). After making it through the congested aisles, we headed to Edina to see "The Village". It was raining when the movie ended and we just went for a little drive through uptown and made our way over to Frogtown in St. Paul and ended up at a little Cambodian restaurant called Cheng Heng (tiny place, but great food). I'm not sure if it was my first Coconut Bubble Tea or the company, but at the end of the night, I deemed it the best date ever.
He drove me home and walked me to the door in the rain and we ended the night with a hug. We set up our next date (the very next day) and I met him at the State Fair and ever since then, I don't think I've gone a day without talking to or seeing him. My sister asked me how it went when I got home (after being relieved and surprised that I was returned safely home in one piece) and I think I just smiled. I'm pretty sure my words were "He never stopped talking, he just kept talking, there was no awkward silence." I am a woman of few words (ok, so I don't talk much, but I can't seem to shut up when I'm writing) so it was a relief to find a guy who actually kept conversations going.
We started out very slow on the physical end of things, which was a welcome change. I think we had dated for almost three months before we even kissed. It was so refreshing to actually be loved for who I was and not what I could provide physically.
He started coming to church with me on Sunday mornings and we quickly became inseparable. We were both "Christian" and went to church, but we weren't really striving to be more like Jesus. We decided to get an apartment together in March of 2005 and in June we went camping at Lake Bemidji State Park. While we were swimming together in Lake Bemidji, James pulled me close and said "You know what I think? I think we should get married when we go to Vegas." (We had a trip to Vegas planned to attend a friend's wedding.) He didn't have a ring, and I don't think it was planned, but I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful proposal. So there in Lake Bemidji, I quickly said, "I think that sounds like a good idea."
I'm not your typical girl and I was still dealing with social anxiety, so not planning a big wedding was a huge relief to me. Vegas was perfect. We talked to family and agreed to have a more formal "vow renewal ceremony" around our one year anniversary so that our friends and family could celebrate with us. So we enjoyed the rest of the summer and headed off to Vegas in September and got married at The Little Church of the West on September 29, 2005.
Our wedding was followed by a sunset convertible drive down the strip (someone at a stoplight gave us a heartfelt congrats after realizing we had just gotten married), dinner at Ruth's Chris and Cirque du Soleil "O" at the Bellagio. Since this blog is about overcoming my struggles with food, I think it is important to mention the one part of the evening that had me in tears. We got to our seats for "O" and I could barely fit into mine....my large rear end squeezed into the seat and was not at all comfortable and I just started to cry. God stepped in and a lovely usher quickly came to the rescue. She thought I was afraid of heights and worked some magic and got us some much better seats in much more comfortable chairs. Had I gone through that experience with anyone other than my best friend, I would probably still be mortified today, but he was so compassionate and I loved him all the more. We came back to a beautifully decorated hotel room with candles and rose petals (thanks Suzi!), it was perfect. I remember every minute of my wedding day, no stress (other than the seat incident) and completely care free. It was lovely.
James and I are so opposite in so many ways, but I think we complement each other well. He challenges me in so many ways and we have a lot of fun together. He's loud, I'm quiet. He never stops talking, I only speak up when I have something important to say. He loves to argue, I despise conflict. But we both love God (and unfortunately for us, food).
We did what most newly married couples do, spent a lot of time going out to eat, sleeping and watching movies. Our newlywed bliss coupled with a high stress job was a really bad combination. I gained almost 50 pounds the first year that we were married and then I added another 50 the year after. It is amazing how quickly weight goes on when you eat copious amounts of garbage day after day.
After we moved to Minneapolis, we started looking for a church that was closer. We had been to a few different places and hadn't found anything we liked. Then one day in the spring of 2006, James' sister asked if we wanted to check out a new church with them on Saturday night and then come over to their house and play Texas Holdem. We said, we'll go to church with you :-) We went to Eagle Brook Church Lino Lakes campus and church as I knew it was quickly turned upside down.....
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