All of the males in our house had some form of crud this week. Yesterday was the first day where everyone felt well enough to venture outside. I took the day off of work and we headed up to William O'Brien State Park so that the kiddos could explore nature without paved roads and trails. I've had a strong desire to just get deep into the woods lately, so we did our best to do that yesterday. The weather was gorgeous and we had a great time. I spent so much time outside when I was a kid. When I think back on my childhood, pretty much everything that stands out to me was time spent outside, in a field, in the woods or by a lake. I just can't get enough of it so I am always thrilled when we have the chance to get out as a family and explore.
Here are a few pictures from our "adventure" (everything is an adventure when it involves 2, 3 and 4 year old children and a not quite 1 year old golden retriever)
Rory sporting her new coat and pants from Saver's....I love that place
He makes the best faces
Checking out a beaver dam (Go Beavers!)
This was completely unprompted, she just loves trees
He had to take it a step farther
Beauty
Waiting on the boys
The best family selfie we could muster, Oskar was not a fan
We had better luck last Sunday when we explored at Battle Creek
It was a fun day, but I was exhausted when we got home. I ran 5 miles on the treadmill Thursday night at 10pm because I didn't want to miss another training run. I was really dreading it, but I eeked out my best 5 mile time so far. It was a nice reward for staying dedicated to my training plan even though it would have been easier to go to sleep.
This morning I had 11.5 miles on my slightly modified training plan. I woke up feeling like garbage. My joints were sore, my muscles were achy, my nose was plugged and I had ZERO energy. On top of that, it was drizzling and about 40 degrees outside. Not at all ideal conditions for running any distance, especially 11.5 miles, which I knew would take me close to 2 1/2 hours.
I spent about two and a half hours getting myself mentally prepared and finally headed out around 9:30. I hit the road and decided to just get it over with. My bladder started screaming almost immediately even though I had just gone to the bathroom the minute before I walked out the door, but I knew I could stop around the 3.5 mile mark at Round Lake to use the restroom there and mentally prepared myself for that....which would have been great if they weren't closed for the season. Thankfully, they had a biffie by the main picnic shelter at Lake Phalen and I was able to stop there. I ended up taking a little bit of time to stretch out my legs because my left knee was bothering me quite a bit. It felt a bit better after I stretched, but started to bother me pretty soon again. I contemplated cutting my run short to keep my legs healthy before the race, but the pain would come and go so I decided to just push through it. I hit a wall at mile 8....freaking mile 8. I ended up walking a bit to give my knee some relief and because I had lost focus mentally.
I realized today that I can't have anything to look at while I'm running. I ran on the Gateway Trail which connects up to the Lake Phalen/Round Lake/Keller Lake paths and ran around Round Lake and Lake Phalen and then back to the Gateway. I realized that when I was on the Gateway, which is completely canopied by trees, I could keep my focus much better than when I was running around the Lakes. I was surprised at the song that actually brought my focus back around mile 9 and helped me push through to the end. It was "My Heart" by Paramore. The chorus just repeats the line "this heart, it beats, beats for only you". I don't know that the song is about Jesus, although I've seen them perform it and it absolutely turned into a little praise and worship session for the band although I'm not sure most of the kids in the audience realized it. Regardless, I just kept singing those words right to Jesus in my head and my focus was back instantly.
I finally made it back to our street and had to run past our house and around one more block to make it an even 11.5 miles. When I got back to the house all three kids were standing in the doorway and Rory came running out the door to greet me with a big smile on her face, clapping and saying "Good job momma, we missed you!". It took everything in me not to just burst into tears at that moment. She ran so much yesterday when we were on our hike, I know she is watching me. It is a joy to watch her run.
My splits didn't end up anywhere near as great as they were last week, but I'm still hopeful that I'll end up finishing in under 3:00....2:45 is my BHAG, so we'll see how that goes.
This afternoon while the kiddos were napping I was working on my Bible Study. We're doing the Nehemiah study by Kelly Minter and what I read today was quite timely. I've been feeling God speak to me a lot lately in the area of serving and gifts. We visited Crossroad's Church a couple of weekends ago because they were talking about a trip to Uganda that my sister in law and a friend went on with International Justice Mission. The sermon was all about serving others and God with what is already in your hand. If you have the time, I highly recommend watching it. Since then, I have been asking God to reveal to me how he would like me to be serving with what I already have. I have been hearing two things pretty repeatedly when I take the time to listen.
Love and Underutilized.
The love piece is pretty clear to me. It is pretty easy for me to completely love and have compassion for people who I have never met. I have always been acutely aware of other people's feelings and emotions. I frequently get emotional when simply observing other people or scenarios. Honestly, it drives me nuts sometimes and I wish I could turn it off at times. I'm sure it drives my husband insane as well. A few years ago (pre kiddos) we were having a nice breakfast at a little diner in Grand Marais and the only thing I could focus on was the old man sitting at the counter eating breakfast by himself with holes in his shoes. I couldn't help but think of where those shoes had been or if anyone used to fill the seat next to him.
These are the kinds of things that run through my mind non-stop. I am far more concerned with other people's welfare than I am my own most days. But I have a hard time putting this into action. It is easy for me to be consumed by my thoughts and stuck in my head. It is hard for me and uncomfortable for me to actually get vulnerable and make a connection. It is easy for me to send money, food or necessities to a charitable organization. It is hard for me to offer a hug to someone I don't know. Lately I've been sensing so much that God just wants me to act, to do the things that aren't easy for me. Send a note. Stick my neck out. Offer encouragement. Be present. Take the time. Get uncomfortable. Running 13.1 miles so that kids can have water and asking OTHER people for money to help me is uncomfortable. By the way, check this out!
Only $254 left to go!!! I know there are still some of you out there who want to help provide clean water for kiddos. I know WE can do this!
Sorry for the tangent, now on to the second word...underutilization is something that has been stirring inside of me for the past six months or so but I was trying to ignore it. It is interesting to feel underutilized and maxed out at the same time. I don't feel like I have more time to offer right now, but I feel like the time I have could be better spent. I feel like I have gifts and abilities that aren't being used right now. Some of them I can't even pinpoint, but I just feel like I need to make a change somewhere. An opportunity recently presented itself, so I'm looking forward to seeing what God wants to do there. On top of that, I have been feeling lately like I should be doing more with writing and speaking. I'm not at all afraid of speaking in front of large groups of people and I enjoy presentations. I want to be doing something with this outside of work, I just don't know where to go or what to do with it. I will keep waiting patiently for all of this to work out and trust in God's timing.
It really is fun to watch and see what God wants to do. I love to look back and see how much I have grown and how faithful He is. Have you found a way to use what you have in your hand? I'd love to hear about it!
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