I got these bad boys in the mail. I don't think I've ever been more excited to receive a pair of shoelaces in my life. THANK YOU to everyone who made it possible to get these.
I am 70% to my goal and would LOVE to make it. So if you have been thinking about making a donation and haven't yet, now is the time! Click Here
This morning I woke up at 5:00 to have breakfast and get ready for a 10 mile training run. I wanted to try and get as much of my run done before the kids woke up as possible so we still had plenty of family time together. I decided to drive to a different destination for my run this morning to change things up a bit. I headed downtown to run along the Mississippi, which is where the Monster Dash will finish up.
I snapped a picture before I headed out, St. Paul was still quite sleepy
There was a big riverboat cruise ship loading at the same time, it was super cute to see a bunch of "seasoned citizens" climbing aboard.
I decided this morning that there is something to the saying I've seen a couple of times on Facebook now
It was so early when I started my run, my body really had no idea what it was doing. I used to think that I ran better in the afternoon because I usually had something to work out in my head and that kept me going, but this morning I realized that if I get started before my inner monologue starts, I can keep complete focus on my music and my run.
With the exception of stopping to relieve my screaming bladder at mile 4.5, I didn't stop running at all this morning. 10 whole miles with no walking breaks. This is unheard of in Tammyland.
I was really excited when I saw my splits
My last five miles were faster than my first five miles and my last mile was the fastest. I have been trying to accomplish this FOREVER. You seriously have no idea how amazing it felt to finish 10 miles without walking. Although this training plan is kicking my butt, it is doing the job! The miles I'm putting in during the week are preparing me for the long runs on the weekend.
I finally feel like I'm at a place where I have stopped comparing myself to other runners and have just started looking at my own progress. Am I still slow by most standards? Absolutely. Have I made tremendous progress? Yes indeed. I'm calling it a victory.
My overall pace was 13:06, I'm shooting for 12:45 on race day, so we'll see how it goes. I think if I stay healthy and my stomach doesn't revolt again, I am definitely on track to finish in under 3:00 this time.
I fueled mid-run with these today
They were awesome. The texture was good, the flavor was great and they did exactly what I needed them to do. I highly recommend them.
It was really nice to start my weekend off with a great run this morning after a pretty crappy week. I won't go into detail on any of it, because it really doesn't matter, but it was just a rough week for me mentally and emotionally. I spent most of my 5 mile run on Thursday in tears of frustration. Not from running, but my overall inability to handle what life throws at me while still somehow finding joy.
I kept thinking about James 1:2-4
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
I gotta be honest with you. I can't say I have ever felt an ounce of joy when I'm facing a trial. When my car wouldn't start at work on Wednesday night, my first thought wasn't, "Thank you, God. Because of this craptastic situation, I'm able to see how much you mean to me and my faith is stronger than ever."
My first thought was "Seriously? Seriously? Can I just be done already? I just want to go home and go to Bible Study and here I am stuck at work in a car that won't start."
I just keep praying that some day I'll be able to get there, but I get so frustrated that I struggle so much with this. I want so desperately for God to be enough for me. I want to find all of my joy and all of my strength in him. But right now, I'm just not there.
I started watching the current message series at Elevation Church on Thursday night as I was working on folding some laundry. It is called I Don't Know What I Believe and God is using it to speak to me big time. Steven Furtick has been bringing his A game lately.
I think the greatest thing that I took away and that I'm trying to wrap my head around is this.
"Even when all the answers aren't clear. God's love for me is."
I have a really hard time with simply letting love be enough. It is like I just don't know how to do it. I have to over analyze everything and get so stuck in all the details of what life should be like and what I should be thinking or feeling as a follower of Christ. When my heart doesn't align with what the Bible says, I feel really defeated. I want to get there and sometimes my progress is painfully slow.
The passage that they are using for the entire series is 2 Timothy 1:8-14
Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, for which I was appointed a preacher and apostle and teacher, which is why I suffer as I do. But I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me. Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.
Paul's faith and devotion to the work he was doing was just ridiculous. If I had a shred of the faith he had, I think I'd be in a much better place.
It isn't so much that I doubt God's goodness, I have seen him prove his goodness repeatedly. I just have a really hard time finding the good in the every day struggles.
I think I've been hearing God tell me that I need to get rid of all the baggage that I carry around in my head and my heart. I need to throw out all the things that I try to keep control of in my life. Toss out the trash so that I can make more room for Him. I need to declutter my heart. I let him in, but he kind of fills the cracks and spaces between all of the other thought, memories and things I'm trying to control.
I think I'm going to have to book a hermitage soon and work through some things. I need like 24 hours of nothing but me, God and some trees....lots of trees.
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