I signed up for the Polar Dash 10K and was supposed to start training for that today, but I was on off-hours support for work tonight and got paged both times I was about to head downstairs to the treadmill. I could push myself and still get it done tonight, but I honestly think I just need to take a break.
I ran twice last week and made it to the gym once for a workout. Not great at all and I am feeling it. I'm finally starting to feel better, so I'm hoping to get back into a normal routine again soon now that I have a new race to train for. I hope to find a way to keep running without having to sign up for races. It isn't that I'm not motivated, it is just that I have no idea what to do. One of my friends mentioned that someone they know just sets an overall mileage goal for a certain time frame, so I think I might consider that and give it a whirl after the Polar Dash. I just know I'm going to need something to push me through the holidays and wanted to support my husband who has signed up for the 5K. I'm really really proud of him and hope that it goes well for him. He has inspired many others to run it as well. It is fun to see all of the support.
Saturday evening was one of the times that I ran this past week. I was emotionally, mentally and physically drained after a long day of training at church and preparing for Rory's family birthday party, but I decided to do 3 miles at 10pm. I was processing some things mentally and decided to push myself pretty hard and ended up running my fastest 5K on the treadmill so far. My average pace was about 10:56...I've never seen anything below an 11:30 before. I was pretty excited about that. I've always known, but it is absolutely being reinforced, just how completely mental running is. My body is capable of so much more than I allow it to do.
When I was done running, I attempted to do some burpees with pushups as part of the Women's Running Community November Lower Body Challenge. Sometimes, an attempt at doing a burpee-pushup ends up with me face down on the cold basement floor, covered in sweat with tears pouring out of my eyes, completely crying out to God. It sounds pretty horrible and I'm sure it looked pretty horrible too, but it was actually a really powerful time of worship and prayer for me. I totally didn't care about the failed attempt at trying something new or the fact that I'm pretty sure I seriously injured my shoulder (slightly more concerned about that now).
I felt a clarity that I needed to feel about something that I have been wrestling with for quite some time. For the past few months, I have been praying for God to use me and all of my past experiences in a way where I would feel like I was making an impact. He has been whispering hints here and there for me to step up and reach out to someone and I have been ignoring him. However, an opportunity has come up where I needed to finally take the step and trust him completely with the details. I am scared. I feel completely inadequate to be doing what I have offered to do, but I am completely trusting him with the details. I can't and probably won't share too much about this because it isn't mine to share, but I would appreciate any and all prayers for strength, wisdom and peace as I step into the water and take his lead on this.
Just like I need a training plan for running, I need uncomfortable life situations to keep me pouring over God's word for answers and turning to him in prayer. Some day I will understand the benefits of doing both of these things all on my own....but until then, I'll welcome the challenges.
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