Stomach flu 2.0 visited our house this week, it has been lovely. It started with Mr. Oskar, then I got it and then Mr. Ragerpants had it. I felt crappy Tuesday and Wednesday and then worked from home and took care of kiddos at the same time on Thursday and Friday. It is always fun trying to play the mute/unmute game on conference calls when I'm working from home with the kids. It is nice to work with people who are understanding and it is a huge blessing to have a job that is extremely flexible.
On top of the stomach bug, James has been going on week number three of a headache that won't go away. He's been to the doctor a few times and had a CT scan and they can't seem to identify the cause. He has been out of commission for the past couple of days and it is taking a toll on him. I honestly don't remember the last time he was actually healthy and felt well, I just wish "they" could figure out what the deal is.
So with all of that, my fitness has taken a bit of a back seat this week. I only made it to the gym on Monday morning and Friday night. I spent about an hour and a half there Friday night and it was glorious. I really wish I had more time to workout because I enjoy it so much. It is a happy place for me, despite feeling extremely self-conscious at times. It is really nice to get back into a lifting routine. I have 4 miles on the schedule for tomorrow and I'm thinking I'll probably end up running on the treadmill at home while the kids take their nap in the afternoon since the weather is so disgusting here.
I finally re-lost the 4 or so pounds I re-gained while in my "funk" and I'm trying to focus on moving forward without looking at how far I have left to go and taking it one pound at a time. I've been following Lisa Rambo from The Biggest Loser 14 on Facebook and Instagram and I am completely inspired by her. She is going to be starting a blog soon and I am very much looking forward to it. She is also a Christian and was very successful at moving forward with her weight loss after being sent home from the ranch and always has positive thoughts to share. She is just such a joyful woman, I think I could learn a lot from her. I'm drawing a lot of my motivation lately from her story so I'm hoping I'll get some good tips and recipes on her blog.
I woke up super early this morning and had a hard time getting back to sleep because I was feeling really anxious and unsettled. I'm very concerned about my hubby's head and how much work he has had to miss because of it and I was playing out all of these horrible scenarios in my head....never good. I finally realized that my thoughts weren't at all productive or helpful so I grabbed my phone and opened up YouVersion. I was looking through verses that I've bookmarked and there were two that made my eyes well up with tears and brought me back to a better frame of mind.
I bookmarked both of them a couple of weeks ago on the same day I think, which I didn't think anything of until I started to feel a bit anxious again tonight so I grabbed my actual Bible (I use the ESV Study Bible from Crossway and love it!) to see what the commentary on Isaiah 26:3 said.
Yeah, I may have had an ugly cry after I saw that Revelation 21:4 was referenced in the commentary for Isaiah 26:3. God is so good to me and practically hits me over the head with his love and mercy on days when I'm really struggling to feel it. The reason both of those passages brought me such comfort is because they go hand in hand.
I am thankful that I have my foundation on a rock as solid as a God who will wipe away EVERY tear, who's love is never ending and never failing. I am very much looking forward to that day. For now, I will find peace in the fact that I know that day is coming and that he loves me. I know that he has a plan for my life and will use all of the struggles, all of the tears and all of the pain for good. There is so much peace in that. I just have to remember to keep my mind on those truths and not the lies that I tell myself.
I saw a quote on Facebook this week that was very timely for me and it all kind of ties in with this.
"The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith. And the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety." ~George Mueller
My prayer tonight is that God would help me keep growing in my faith, that I will learn to trust him completely. I pray that I keep my mind focused on him so that I always remember who he is and who he says I am.
After all, that is what this journey is all about, isn't it?
I love you. Thank you so much for your amazing love and support during my really, really cruddy past few days... and a really nasty year of colds and illness. You are the best! I pray that I can do something to support you that can even come close to how you have supported me. I love you.
ReplyDelete