You Know Me

This was the sunset that I got to enjoy yesterday morning as I took the kiddos to school and daycare.  It was so beautiful and the colors so vivid, the picture doesn't do it justice, but it was the best I could capture quickly at a stop light.

When I saw it, I started to think about a song that I think I've shared in a post before, but it is just such an amazing song, I have to share it again

 The song is influenced greatly by Psalm 139 and the lines that I thought of specifically yesterday morning were:

"You know when I rise and when I fall
When I come or go, You see it all
You hung the stars and You move the sea,
and still You know me"

It is really awesome when you stop to think about how great and mighty God is and how even in His greatness, he knows every detail about every one of us.  He made the beautiful sunrise yesterday and he "knit together" each one of us.  Simply amazing. 

O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.  You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.  (Psalm 139: 1-10, ESV)

What great comfort to know that we are never outside of the presence of such an amazing God.  I always put this song on my running playlists and whenever it comes on, I often find myself closing my eyes and just praising and thanking God for his greatness.  I love knowing that even when I'm on the trail in the middle of nowhere, God knows exactly where I am and he knows the struggles that I'm going through, I can honestly feel His presence when I am reminded of this.  It is invigorating, so even though the song isn't fast paced, it helps me keep on keepin on. 


Life has been pretty good lately despite the inevitable sickness that seems to flood our house at this time of year.  The crud just seems to cycle through each of us slowly and right now my daughter and I have it.  Since I've been dealing with the crud since Monday, I've been completely exhausted and haven't really done much in the way of exercise.  I managed to do a quick 2 1/4 mile run on the treadmill early Wednesday morning, but that has been in this week.  Despite that (or maybe because of it), the scale has been moving rapidly this week and I'm just 2 pounds away from the 100 pound mark. 

100 pounds is pretty remarkable, but I really hate the ridiculous things I tell myself sometime that steal away the joy that can come from milestones like this.  I commonly tell myself that loosing this weight doesn't really count because I spent most of my college/high school days between 240 and 260 pounds, so I've been here before.  Yes, I still had to loose it, but I won't feel like I'm actually doing something worth getting excited about until I am below 240.  This is how my head works, it is a scary place.

Last Saturday I did a treadmill run and I realized that my body is capable of much more than I think it is.  I had started out the run telling myself that I was just going to do a slow 5K to get something done, but as I went, I decided to push myself a bit more and kicked the speed up to 6.0 and 6.5 at the end of the run.  I was surprised how much I had left in me at the end and I was determined to keep going and push through it and I ran my best 5K time, 36:43.

I started to think about all of the times in my life that I probably could have pushed myself harder or given more and was fully capable of it, but self doubt clouded my mind and I gave up much earlier than I needed to.  I need to figure out how to get out of this cycle so that I can push myself and reach my full potential.  It was interesting for me to realize the difference between self discipline and perseverance and how I'm not at my best unless they are both in the mix.  I'm hoping to figure out how to get both of them in the mix.

Thanks for reading and enjoy the weekend!  Hopefully I'll have a 100 pound milestone post soon!