Don't be Afraid to Stand Out

Today's post is very much a needed reminder for myself, and since I need reminding of this frequently, I'm guessing others may find some value in it as well, so I decided to blog about it.

I've been struggling lately with my runs....ok, so not just with running, but with life in general.  Training runs are not going anywhere near as well as I would have hoped they would be at this point, and it frustrates me.  I had what I deemed a "craptastic" run on Friday night.  I had to walk after running 2 miles, lately I've been making it to the 4 mile mark before I need to take a walking break, so I was feeling defeated.  I can't even tell you how many times along my 6 mile journey I said to myself, "Why in the world am I doing this?".  

When I was about 5 miles in, the song "The Lost Get Found" by Britt Nicole came on. 

I've heard this song hundreds of times before, but hadn't really listened closely to the lyrics.

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out
(Stand out)
'Cause somewhere
Somebody needs a reason to believe

Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

I was listening intently trying to take my mind off of the fact that my legs were beyond tired and I was mentally defeated.  When I heard those words, I lost it.  There I was, running in what was now nearly complete darkness with a mile to go and I was bawling, like snot running out of my nose, gasping for air, no hiding it, bawling. 

I'm not doing this for me.  I'm doing this because for whatever reason, I feel like it is what God wants me to be doing right now.  I don't even completely understand it or know what the purpose is, but I'm trusting that He is going to us me so that someone, somewhere, can learn about Him through me.  So that people who don't know Him or even do know him but haven't fully surrendered to Him can see the strength and power that he supplies me with daily to overcome the stronghold that food/obesity has had on me for so very long. 

I need to keep going so that I can be a success story and give Him the glory.

There has been so much going on in my heart lately.  I get overwhelmed so frequently because there is just so much that needs to be done, so many people who need to experience the love of Christ through The Church.  People who need to be reached and hear the Gospel.  Kids who don't have basic necessities.  Women who need a safe place to grow and raise their children.  People struggling with addiction.  Children forced into sexual exploitation and slavery.....too much

I need focus.  I have to keep reading and praying over Romans 12 until it becomes clear to me.  James and I kind of made that "our chapter" for this stage of our life.  There is so much good stuff in Romans.  

I also need to work on telling myself the truth.  I saw a great quote by Beth Moore last week - “We're going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us.”  James had to remind me of this when I got home from my run on Friday and told him how much it sucked and how slow I am.  I have gotten quite good at lying to myself over the years.  Whenever I do this this, whenever I tell myself how fat, ugly, slow, (insert countless negative adjectives here) I am, I pretty much say to God, "You know, you pretty much blew it when you made me, thanks for nothing pal."  But the truth is that He made me to be me, just the way I am, because He has a purpose for my life.   

Psalm 139 has a thing or two to say about this

13  For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them. 

I don't know why it is so hard for me to remember this.  Why do I have to remind myself of this over and over?  Some day it will stick, I'll just keep praying for that....may not be this side of heaven, but we'll get there. 

There is so much more I could say tonight, but I'll leave it at this.  What lies are you telling yourself today?  Seek comfort in Psalm 139 and know that you are exactly who you are supposed to be.  Don't be afraid to stand out, He has a purpose for you.