It is quite silly, really, how a different number on the calendar can have such an impact on a fresh start. I'm ok with silly, because I need a fresh start.
Looking back and remembering the good is so hard when your vision is clouded with the things you wish went differently. So today, I'm forcing myself to remember the good.
2013 Favorites
1) Completed two half-marathons
3) Lost 30 pounds, not as much as I wanted, but still progress
4) You guys helped me raise $1,310 to provide clean water for 26 kiddos!
6) Survived one entire year with a dog and three kids
7) Read great books that challenged my thinking on God, discipleship and the church
8) James and I had many great date nights and continue to work on improving our life together
9) Made a couple of new friends and am starting to learn how to do this whole "community" thing
10) Understanding who I am, why God made me that way and what HE wants to do with my life
"Opportunities" for 2014
Perfect Peace
The end of 2013 was marked by an extremely unhealthy amount of stress, a slide back into depression and overwhelming anxiety. My main priority for 2014, for my health and the health of my family, is to get this under control. When I feel the way I have been feeling lately, it is hard to focus on anything other than how I've been wronged and what I need to feel better. That isn't a great place to be when you are trying to raise three kiddos and love a husband. I've been stuck in a dark tunnel in my head for the past couple of months and I see the light at the end, I just need to keep focusing on it and get there.
And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you. Luke 12: 22-31, ESV
Write
I have slowly started to accept that God has given me the gift of writing and I need to start using it more. It has always been there, I've just never been confident enough in it to do anything with it until I started this blog. I used to write short stories when I was an adolescent and poems and songs during my teenage/young adult years. Writing has always been therapy for me, but I had never viewed it as anything more than that until others started telling me that I had a gift. I have A LOT of words and thoughts that still don't make it out of my head and I feel like he wants them to. I'm hoping to start a second blog that will be focused more on my thoughts, questions and interpretations of the Bible on things like the church and discipleship. I wanted to call it "By Faith" after reading Hebrews 11 last week, but someone already has that, so I'm back to the drawing board. Like I mentioned earlier, writing is therapeutic for me and I haven't taken much time to do it lately and God has been telling me that I need to make it a priority.
Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. Titus 2:7-8, ESV
Food
I could really just leave it at that, but I'll expound. When I get depressed and stressed, really bad things happen to my appetite and body. I gained a significant amount of weight last time I was going through a particularly stressful time in life and I can see those habits coming back. I do not want a repeat of that and I am going to be doing my best to work this out with God and get some control here. I've been focusing so much on exercise and being active, now I need to really start to get control on how I'm fueling my body.
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14, ESV
Obedience
I'm excited to see what God has planned for 2014. He is continually taking me out of my comfort zone and into new territory and although it scares the crap out of me, by faith, I will be following him. I'm starting to understand what it means to die to myself and for this control freak, it is going to be a constant struggle, but one that I'm looking forward to.
For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Galatians 5:13-14, ESV
There are so many opportunities for improvement in my life, but I'm narrowing the focus to these four so that I can actually make some progress. If I try to accomplish too many things, transformation won't happen, especially in the stress area.
I'm looking forward to 2014. I'll be kicking it off the same way I did last year. In bed early this evening for an early rise tomorrow to do the Polar Dash 10K. I have no expectations or goals. Sure, I'd love to beat my previous 10K race time of 1:24:20, (a goal I thought was very attainable back in October before having to take a few weeks off to get my heart situation figured out), but that isn't looking very realistic based on my training runs, so rather than be disappointed, I'm going in with no expectations at all. Hopefully, despite the cold, it will be fun and I'll have a great race, but if I don't, I'm still starting 2014 off on the right foot.
So have a safe New Year's Eve! I wish you many blessings in 2014.
I was going through all of the songs on our computer the other day and came across this one, it is from 2009, and I forgot how much I loved it. Enjoy!
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