I'm one of those crazy list people that adds things to a list just so I can cross them off. Being able to cross off each of these runs/workouts gives me great satisfaction.
Saturday was a long run day - six miles at a slow pace. I've run six or more miles quite a few times at this point, so I wasn't expecting it to be as difficult as it was for me. It was the longest six miles I have ever run, that is for sure.
I think I spent over half of it either walking or in tears because I was just so frustrated. It was pretty humid and getting warmer by the time I got out for a run, but it wasn't horrible. I really didn't understand why I was having such a difficult time.
I was really excited when I made it to my turn around point.
I have run by this snowman many times and I swear he mocks me every single time. I had to run up the hill that the snowman sits on top of to then go down a little hill to get to my turn around point and every single step up that blessed hill was torture. I was happy to turn around and get him out of my sight.
The second half was just as brutal as the first and about a mile from home I finally realized why I was struggling so much and why I have been struggling so much with all of my training runs lately. I feel like I'm failing.
I was so excited to start training for this race and to run this race because it was a chance for me to combine my efforts at improving my health with making an impact in the lives of others. I didn't realize how difficult it would be for me to find motivation to train for my second half marathon. The first time around, I was running purely on the motivation of doing something that I had never done before and thought I could never do. Now that I know my body is capable of it, I'm finding that I really need something outside of myself to keep me going. As of Saturday morning, I had only received one donation.
I have a really big goal, but this time it isn't a running goal, this time it is a goal to provide clean water for people who aren't nearly as fortunate as we are, simply because they were born in another country. People who are forced to drink water from the same place that animals bathe and drink. Water that is not at all fit for drinking.
Photo from John Warren/WorldVision
I want the fact that I am making a difference to be able to keep me motivated when my runs get difficult. I want to know that I'm doing this for someone else and not just for me. This is where I'm at today - 13% to my goal. So much progress to make.
I'm not saying any of this to guilt people into giving, that isn't at all what this is about, and I really only want people to give if they are excited about it. I'm just being honest and letting you know that training for this thing is kicking my rear, in a really big way. So if you aren't able to help financially, I would love it if you would consider praying for health, endurance and peace.
I'm not giving up. I will be crossing that finish line. One step at a time.
Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. Hebrews 10:35-36
I am confident that I am supposed to be doing this. I know that God will get me through it. I will overcome.
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